You finally decide to put an end to a relationship that has been emotionally-draining you for quite some time, and you feel proud and brave for doing so. But, when the moment you are left alone with your thoughts, negative feelings become so overwhelming that you feel the urge to get back together again.
It is important to get through this phase and fight the urge to get back to something that is not healthy for you and try your best to move on, no matter how difficult and impossible it may seem. It is possible.
Keep in mind that everything passes and all you can do is learn from it. Every experience is a valuable lesson. So, here are some tips to help you get through this phase and recover from a toxic relationship.
Let yourself feel everything and vent
Positive and negative feelings exist for a reason and have an important function in our lives. They help us distinguish right from wrong. So, shutting down your emotions makes you completely blind for realizing what is good for you and what is not.
If you allow yourself to truly feel the pain that this relationship had caused, you’ll be less likely to repeat the same mistake. Whenever you feel like going back together, the memory of the high pain will alert you that it may not be the best choice.
So, suppressing emotions is the worst thing you can do, and by doing so, you are just postponing your recovery, because eventually, you’ll have to deal with it. Write a diary, cry, watch a sad movie, write songs, whatever it is you need to get in touch with your emotions and get them out of your system.
Exclude him/her from your life
If you really want to recover, you need to stop any form of communication with your ex. Stop texting, delete all contacts from your phone, stay away from the places where she or he usually spends time.
Forget about getting a cup of coffee together and being friends, your relationship turned out to be a toxic combination, and that includes a friendly relationship, too.
If you receive a text from your ex or talk about fun topics, it’ll make you remember the things you like about them and immediately feel like you want to get back together. But, this would be a short phase, and soon you would find yourself exactly where you started, wanting to break up.
Focus on yourself
Stop thinking about what your ex has done to you and how you feel about him and where is he now. Stop it right now. Are you sure you want to spend your life by being hurt all the time?
Start being kind to yourself immediately because you deserve much better. You can be happy again, and you don’t need someone else for that. You need you for that.
Spend some time engaging in activities you like, practice a skill, focus on a hobby, get a massage, go to karaoke, travel, read books, work on your career. There are so many things that you could do in your life. Do you really want to spend it on a toxic relationship?
Be your own best friend and take responsibility for making yourself happy.
Surround yourself with positive people
You don’t need to be alone in this. Call your friends. They care about you and want to be with you, and I am sure they don’t want you to get back in that relationship again.
You will probably crave for attention in this period, so feel free to tell that to your friends. Call them, text them, spend more time with them. If you have a friend who is single, too, it would be perfect.
Go out together and tell them to keep your phone away from you. And most importantly, have fun, joke, laugh, it is the best medicine in the world.
Make a plan for the future
Your next step is what you should be focused on. Maybe now is not the moment to move on, but slowly thinking about what you could be doing in the next six months can make you excited about the future. It will help you keep in mind that there is life after this difficult phase. Also, always remember that 6 months from now, you want to feel better and make a step forward, you do not want to be back with your ex again.
Keep this plan in mind every time you feel the urge to call your ex. And when the moment comes, and it feels right, in one month or a year, start pursuing that plan.
Take care and nurture yourself, surround yourself with positive people, focus on the future, and avoid any contact with your ex. Don’t forget that negative feelings are not to be avoided; they are there to help you move on.
Before you know it, you will feel like a stronger, happier, wiser version of yourself and everything will become possible again, just hang in there.