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Are You Ready For Marriage?

Marriage Readiness

While there may not be an exact formula for determining the best time for a couple to get married, many couples want to feel sure that they are making the right choice at the right time.  A great many factors can play into whether or not a couple is truly ready to make a lifelong commitment. Here are some tips on how couples can explore potential readiness for marriage prior to setting a date.

A couple versus a family

Many happily married couples report having decided to marry based, exclusively, on the desire to start a family together.   While having children can be a life goal for many, life’s unpredictability can prohibit couples from having children.  Not only can fertility issues arise, but other factors such as sudden financial crises, job loss, or health issues can turn up, unexpectedly, in life and obliterate a couple’s dreams of having children.  If you’re planning on starting a family, you might also want to consider if you would be content marrying your spouse without the promise of children.  The creation of a family might still be something you’re able to pursue. Questioning whether you would be willing to commit to your partner, regardless of kids, however, might help determine your readiness for a lifelong commitment to that person.

You accept each other’s families

Studies show that a leading cause of divorce is conflict between in-laws.  If you find your partner’s family situation problematic, or even intolerable, this may need to be addressed prior to walking down the aisle.  Working with your partner on setting boundaries and having a relationship with your in-laws that works for both of you can be extremely important for creating a harmonious marriage.  If you determine that there are problems and unfinished business with your partner’s family, this can indicate that you might not be quite ready for marriage and still have some work to do as a couple.

You aren’t healthy

A recent study shows that sudden, unexpected health issues are a leading cause of divorce.  Many divorced individuals reported that the stress of looking after a spouse with health problems took an extreme toll on the marriage and changed the dynamic of the relationship.  If you have treatable, unaddressed health issues, it might not be the best time to enter into a marriage.  Tending to your health concerns prior to marriage can ensure that you are entering into your marriage, responsibly.  Or, if you suddenly become unwell prior to your wedding date, postponing the marriage might be a good idea.  Treatment outcomes may not always be determinable, but making the effort to see if you can cure your maladies prior to getting married might prevent unnecessary relationship stressors related to your health concerns.  

  VERIFIED EXPERT
Denise Limongello, LMSW, is a passionate and dedicated therapist who obtained her graduate degree from Columbia University, School of Social Work. She is also a graduate of Miss Porter’s School and Tulane University. Denise began her clinical career at The Renfrew Center of New York and has since then worked across all levels of care including Inpatient, Partial Hospitalization, Intensive Outpatient, and Outpatient, Private Practice settings.

More by Denise Limongello

How to Deal With an Unexpected Pregnancy

How to Improve Communication within a Marriage

How to Avoid the “Growing Apart” Trap

How to Be Independent While Married


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