You’re Engaged! Ready.. Set… Wait!

Pre-marriage advice

Congratulations on making the decision to take your relationship to the next level. This is a wonderful and exciting time for you and your partner. You have made the big commitment to spend the rest of your life with an important, special someone.

But before you get too caught up in the excitement of planning, here’s some marriage advice that you can use.

You don’t know me and I doubt I will be invited to your wedding, still, I want to give you a gift. The gift of my experience working with hundreds of couples. One that will protect your relationship now and in the future.

Using the analogy of a garden

When I work with couples I often times find myself using this analogy of a garden.

You and your partner are embarking on making your marriage a garden. Like all gardens you have to put in time and effort to not only grow your garden but to maintain it. Right now you and your partner are tending the soil of a “we”. Planting the seeds of love and togetherness. You will water it. Weed it. Care for it. You will grow a beautiful lush garden together with your partner.

Imagine how magnificent and beautiful it is.

Soon you will add to your garden. A home garden, a child’s garden, a life-together garden.

Like any garden that is left unattended, it will start to falter. The same rule applies to your marriage. This is when the difficulties can begin. People often times tend not to pay attention to things that are good. Your relationship garden is lush and growing. But if you don’t pay attention, the weeds will grow, the flowers will die. The beauty of what you built together will disappear.

Pre-marriage advice

People forget that marriage is a lifelong commitment; one that requires work and effort. Never, never ever forget to care for your marriage first. Never put anything above your marriage.

In time, your family will grow. You will have children, which demand time and attention as well. Parents too often put the children over their marriage. The best thing you can do for your children is to show them a happy, loving relationship. If you and your partner are happy, it gives them the freedom to be just kids. They will take on the job of trying to make you happy if you’re not. They will be just fine with one less play date or one less sport as long as your marriage is good.

Of course, in the course of time, you will get busy and work may take over. But remember, the fancy cars, homes and trips won’t mean much without that special someone. Always prioritize your marriage and spouse – no matter what.

Life is about balance. You and your partner need to find yours. Remember this, be nice to each other and create the best marriage possible with your spouse.

Ken Burns is an LMSW and works as co-director for Transformation Counseling Group.He has earned his master’s degree in social work from Advanced Standing Master’s program. Ken’s approach is a blend of Eastern philosophy mixed with western theory to give his clients a personal and different approach to therapy. His passion is to work with clients and help them achieve long lasting relationships.