Questions to Ask Before Marriage
Having a spouse means loving someone who knows everything about you—and who loves you in spite of, or perhaps because of, what he knows. When committing to each other for life a lot of couples do not contemplate on how much they know about their spouse to be.
There’s no excuse for not knowing the basics about your partner’s past, present, and future dreams before getting married. Without this knowledge, you can’t make an intelligent decision about whether this person is right for you.
Don’t forget to explore these important issues before you take a walk down the aisle. However, before venturing down the path of exploration it would be helpful to know what questions to ask your future husband, questions to ask your lover, or even questions for engaged couples.
So to help you realize the things to talk about before getting married or things to do before you get married, here are some questions to ask your partner before marriage or important questions to ask before marriage
Questions to ask before marriage about your partner’s biography
These questions would help the couples understand each others upbringing and how alike or different their life and families have been.
- What was your childhood like? What were the best and worst parts?
- What about your parents was great? Bad?
- What did you think of school?
- What were you like as a child?
- Who were your most significant role models?
- Who were your most significant romantic partners?
- How many people have you had sex with?
Questions before marriage about your partner’s emotional state
Emotional intimacy and connection is essential for the success of any marriage. Asking these questions can give a couple insight in their emotional compatibility.
- Do you have a history of mental health problems?
- What is your biggest fear?
- What should I avoid doing during fights? What can I do to resolve our conflicts?
- What can I do to help you be happier and healthier?
- Has anyone ever abused you?
- What makes you happiest?
- When you feel sad, what are some ways to help you feel better?
- How would you characterize your love language?
- How do they handle stress and situation that frustrates them?
Pre-marriage questions your partner’s values
Values in a persons life help them develop, create, and experience the future that they want to. Addressing the questions about you and your spouse to be’s life values can help you ascertain what is important to the both of you and build cohesion between one another.
- How much sex do you want us to have? What are your views on sex—what’s appropriate, what’s not, etc.
- Are you open to sexual feedback?
- Are you religious? Do you want to attend religious services each week?
- What are your political values?
- Do you believe there are differences between men and women? What are they?
- What do you like most about yourself? What are you still working on?
- What is the most upsetting thing to you? Lying? Stealing? Something else?
- If one of us is unfaithful, will we still try to work it out?
- Does he empathize with other?
Things to ask before marriage about future goals
These questions to ask your fiance or partner, are important in setting future expectations from each other.
- What are you passionate about?
- What are your career goals?
- What’s your dream retirement?
- How do you want our days to look when we’re 30, 40, 50, 60, and beyond?
- Do you want pets?
- How can I help you achieve your goals?
- What sort of relationship do you want with your family? With mine?
- Is there anything you don’t want for our life, or any fears you have about getting married?
- What steps, if any, do you want to take to ensure our continued good health?
Marriage questions about family life and plans for children
Know how similar or different your family planning choices are. Ask these questions to evaluate how you would as a parent.
- Do you want children? How many?
- How do you want to be like your parents? Which mistakes of theirs do you want to avoid?
- What discipline tactics do you want to use with our children?
- What sort of parenting style do you plan to adopt? How do you feel about parenting tasks?
- Who will be the children’s primary caretaker? Or will we share duties?
- How will we divvy up household labor?
- Will we both work?
- How much alone time do you want each day?
- How much time each day do you plan to spend working?
- How is your relationship with your families?
Questions to ask before you get married about financial issues
Be it big or small, knowing how to handle a financial crisis would be a key to your relationships survival.
- How much debt do you have?
- What is your credit situation?
- Do you want to buy a home?
- What are your thoughts on saving money?
- Do you have a retirement account?
- Can we create a joint financial management plan?
- Should you have a prenup before marriage?
- Will you have a joint account?
- What are your financial goals in life?
Questions to ask yourself before marriage
Know who you are, what you want, and why do you want it. Here are some great questions to ask before marriage to get to know yourself better.
- Who am I as an individual?
- Do we really accept each other?
- Have we really accepted each other?
- Would I be happy in this marriage?
- Would we have a balanced relationship?
- Do I feel trapped?
- Would this marriage hold me back?
- Do I trust my partner?
- How do I prepare for my wedding?
Want to have a happier, healthier marriage?
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
Zawn Villines
Writer
Zawn Villines is a writer specializing in behavioral health and family relationships. She graduated from Georgia State University, where she studied psychology and philosophy.
