Our history is filled with instances of people seeking help from varied sources, such as religious institutes to help them getting ready for marriage. This trend is evidently still existent today as people are seeking advice and counseling before marriage to answer certain questions before marriage.
However, Marriage preparation is an often overlooked step in the process of marriage—but preparing for marriage is just as important as saying those final “I do’s.”
So, what do you need to get married? Well the answer solely depends upon what expectations you have from your partner and yourself. To find out more about the same couples often divulge in marriage counseling before marriage. This aids them in understanding how to prepare for marriage and figure out the things to discuss before marriage.
Consequently, there are many pre-marriage questions that couples often try to find an answer for such as, how long should you date before getting married? what is the point of marriage? What are the things couples should talk about before marriage? and so on.
To figure out the answer to such questions, let’s take a look at four essential pre-marriage tips that you should definitely apply to your own upcoming marriage.
Know each other
This may seem like a common sense tip, but there are actually many couples who take the big leap into marriage without really taking the time to know each other.
There isn’t a perfect “time limit” that will tell you when to marry someone, but you should make sure you’ve given yourselves enough time to actually develop a relationship before you commit to marriage.
Talk about your expectations
This is something that many couples do only after the vows have been said, which is an unfortunate mistake. Before you get married, you and your partner should have honest and clear discussions about what you expect in marriage—and what you expect in the future.
Do you both want to have children? How many children do you see in the future? Do you plan on staying in your local area, or will you move? What happens if one of you gets a job offer in a different city, state or even country?
Will you buy a house, apartment or other residences together? Will you get a joint bank account or keep your money separate? How will you divide up bills and personal expenses?
In other words: what do you expect from the marriage, and what do you expect from the future? The more you discuss this with your partner, the better both of you will understand how to make your marriage work.
It wouldn’t do either of you any good to avoid talking about these potentially delicate subjects if they cause strife years down the line.
Talk about the seemingly unimportant details
Naturally, you will want to talk about your big expectations for marriage and the future—whether you want to have children, where you will live, and so on.
But there are a lot of little details that soon-to-be-married couples forget to discuss, and while they may seem minor, they can actually have a noticeable impact on a marriage if they aren’t clearly discussed beforehand.
For example: When it comes to holidays, which family will you spend it with? Will you try to divide your time between two different family parties? Will you rotate holidays? Or will you separate on holidays and spend time with your families, but not each other?
Small details like this may seem more than a bit silly talk about before marriage, but when all of these small details are put together they create a much bigger picture that can have a bigger impact on your relationship and marriage.
Try not to anticipate that your life partner will read your brain
Figure out how to convey your expectations at a level that they will clearly understand. Make sincere efforts to ensure that they comprehend what you are trying to convey. Try not to presume that they understand what you mean or what you need, clear up it.
In the event that you are not clear with your communication don’t blame it on them by saying that they were not tuning in.
One of the best pre-marriage advice for building a healthy marriage with your spouse is to manage your expectations. Also, don’t give in to tantrums when you don’t find your spouse picking up on hints.
Maybe, your fiance will find it cute when you are in the threos of passion during your courtship days, but marriage is a long haul game. Exhibit patience and levelheadedness, and you will pave way for a happy marriage.
Benefit of pre-marriage counseling
There are many things to know before getting married, one of the most important is to understand your partner. It might sound simple but can actually be very challenging. This is where you can always seek out some professional help.
Pre-marriage counseling can be very vital to help you prepare for your marriage. It would help you and your partner to build a strong, stable and satisfying marriage.
Listed below are some of the common know benefits of pre-marital counseling:
- Building strong communication skills
- Addressing and confronting issues
- Planing for the future
- Managing finances
- Sustaining intimacy and romance
- Get to know your partner better
- Setting expectations
- Family planning
These are only some well known benefits of pre-marriage counseling, however, depending upon the state of your relationship you might be able to find more ways to benefit from it.
Want to have a happier, healthier marriage?
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
More by Mary Fisher