Women are expected to behave differently from men since time immemorial. The concept of men and women belonging to two different planets caught on since the book, ‘Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus’, was first published way back in the year of 1992.
The book was written by American author and relationship counselor, John Gray. They are structured differently and are expected to behave differently.
Predominant beliefs about women
Beliefs like women should be demure in every aspect of their lives rules large in our society even today. Even though there are individuals who are breaking the shackles and exploring their sexuality more than their ancestors, society does everything in their power to subdue their voices.
Most people, including few women, are against the opinion that the fairer sex should use their women sexual power more frequently.
The male-dominating society fears the rising empowerment of women and strives for a world where women are silenced and forced to accept the roles as bestowed upon them by society itself.
Reasons why women have strayed away from using their sexual power or chose to remain silent about their sexual urges.
1. The different roles assigned as per the theory of evolution
According to the theory of evolution penned down by Okami and Shackelford, women invest more in parenthood than men. Obviously, this approach has affected their choice of mate and their willingness to indulge in short-term relationships.
Since ancient times, there have been pre-defined societal roles for every individual.
Women were expected to stay at home and take care of the family. Initially, they were not even exposed to modern education. They were wired differently from the male members of the society.
Luckily, the picture has changed today.
Women have successfully shed off all the inhibitions. They have taken full control over their body and mind. Still, they find minimal satisfaction in continuously hovering around sex until they have produced children.
2. Social and cultural factors heavily influence women
Sexual desire in women is extremely sensitive to environment and context – Edward O. Laumann
Edward O. Laumann, Ph.D., is a professor of sociology at the University of Chicago and lead author of a major survey of sexual practices, The Social Organization of Sexuality: Sexual Practices in the United States.
According to the Professor, the majority of adult men under 60 think about sex at least once a day. On the other hand, a mere one-quarter of women falling under the same age group agree that they think about sex that frequently. Fantasizing about sex decreases with age but men still fantasize about twice as often.
3. Different responses to sex and sex varying sex drive
Another study published in the Journals of Gerontology portrays how men and women of different ages respond to sex differently. The study compiled data from two other surveys, the National Health and Social Life Survey and the National Social Life, Health, and Aging Project.
In the age bracket of 44-59 years, 88 per cent of men were found to be more sexually active as opposed to women falling under the same bracket. The women, were close on the heels of men, with not a very conspicuous wide gap. It has been estimated that close to 72 per cent of women is sexually active in the same age group.
Further investigation corroborated that men exhibited the desire to engage in sex 7 times a month with women showing marginally less proclivity at 6.5.
The studies also went to find that men continue to exhibit higher sexual desire even when they cross the threshold of the middle age.
The above figures substantiate that men are more sexually driven than women. Hence, speaking about sex with friends is a less engaging topic for them as opposed to their male counterparts.
4. How a society treats women
Society has treated women differently since ages. There are countries like America where women enjoy complete freedom of exploring their sexuality. Here, the local communities have better things to do than poking their noses into other people’s bedrooms.
But, there are few other countries where women are not permitted even to expose a tiny bit of their skin publicly. Culture and religion are two parameters that literally determine how a person should behave in public.
5. Stark differences in culture and demographics
The American romantic comedy film, ‘Sex and the City 2’, had clearly portrayed the cultural differences between the female protagonists of the film and the women of Abu Dhabi.
Further, the same film showed how a country like Abu Dhabi which was progressive in so many ways had remained conservative where sex was concerned. This is not just a story about the Arabian nations. Even women from South-East Asian countries like India deal with similar sex-related issues daily.
6. The rise of the phenomenal #metoo movement
For instance, slut-shaming has become quite a useful tool to subdue the weaker sex here. The society always tends to blame a female even if she is a victim of public sexual harassment. Irrespective of the ongoing ‘#meToo’ movement around the world, few victims are unwilling to raise their voices against their sinners.
This is because rape victims are traumatized further by disturbing questions put across to them by the lawyers in the open court.
Even the women of progressive nations like America are subjected to slut-shaming. A study conducted by the American Association of University Women, reveals that slut-shaming is one of the primary forms of sexual harassment that students in middle and high school deal with.
Another example of slut-shaming hit the media when the Huffington Post published those emails which were exchanged between Miss America Organization CEO Sam Haskell and various board members. The winners of the contest were slut-shamed and fat-shamed in the emails.
7. Difference in perspectives
It is not entirely true that all women prefer hiding their urges and deter from exploring their sexuality like men.
Some women are pretty verbal about this subject. In fact, the changing time has made women fearless and bold.
Many of the women are gradually stepping out of the stereotypes and finding satisfaction beyond their steady relationships.
However, there are women who consider sex to be a private affair. They prefer keeping their sex lives behind closed doors. They are more loyal than most men when it comes to relationships and enjoys sex with a single partner.
For them, sex is more about an instrument for expressing genuine feelings for her partner than satiating her body hunger. Unlike men, women enjoy fantasizing, remembering, and imagining hot sex. When she is thinking about being together with her partner, her sexual appetite is at its peak.
For women, sex is more about enjoying the feeling of togetherness than dowsing the inner raging sexual fire.
Finally, shed those inhibitions and vocalize your sexual desires freely
Undoubtedly, it is the society, the age-old tradition, and the so-called moral police who are responsible for restraining the women of all ages.
It is entirely up to women whether or not to speak publicly about their sex lives.
But, remaining indifferent to your urges behind closed doors is wrong. Sex is essential if you wish to make your relationship a success. But, you need to be more open to your partner and clearly express your wants and desires.
It is vital for the women to make time for romantic and intimate encounters while being at ease vocalizing their sexual needs, with their partners to experience a blissful and electrifying relationship.