There’s nothing weird about sex toys anymore, but many married couples feel extremely uncomfortable using them. The reasons are many. One or both spouses’ insecurity, believing that sex toys are for porn divas alone, taboo surrounding the use of sexual aids in marriage, plain embarrassment etc.
However, as we will show you in this article, sex toys can help your love life a lot, and if you feel bored or your sexual life is non-existent, you should definitely give them a chance.
The history of sex toys
When you start researching sex toys, both “regular” ones, and the weird ones, you probably expect to see that they were always intended to increase sexual pleasure for everyone, depending on their preferences.
But, this may not always be the case, such as with the history of vibrators. Why you should learn about this, you may ask?
For those who might feel any sort of resistance towards using sex toys, learning about how they came to be might break that ice a bit.
Vibrators, for example, were commonly used to treat hysteria ever since the 13th century, but they became demonized somewhere around the 17th century and had little to do with female pleasure again until recently. The common views on men and women and their attitudes towards sex in the 19th century were such that they would make every modern woman slightly enraged.
Women were believed to have zero sexual drive and interest
Women were there merely to satisfy men in order to produce children. They were raised to despise sex and to consider it something that they had to endure to be good wives to their husbands. They had to put up with sex to become pregnant.
But, such notion left thousands of women sexually frustrated. Nonetheless, they did not complain that they were dissatisfied in sex, but they suffered from a range of physical and psychological symptoms.
Amazingly for today’s views, the doctors of the day treated these complaints by massaging the troubled woman’s clitoris and vagina. Upon orgasm, the woman’s symptoms were relieved. However, this was time and energy-consuming treatment, and it eventually resulted in – vibrators. And the rest is history.
The rise of sex toys.
As research reveals, there is a steady increase in the use of sex toys of all sorts among American men and women. Moreover, the overall attitudes towards such sex-life enhancers are ever more positive.
Men and women used to fear that using sex toys would make them incapable of enjoying sex without them.
People felt strongly that using sex aids proves that they’re bad lovers
Nowadays, people, in general, seem to have accepted that using sex toys is perfectly fine and can bring many pleasures into a married couple’s bedroom.
Fewer people fear that using sex toys means that something is lacking in their skills as a lover. And more people now see a sex toy the opposite of what they once experienced – it’s a pressure reliever instead of something that might add to a person’s anxiety over their performance in bed.
Both men and women of today even just compared to the attitudes of men and women of the eighties now appreciate how vibrators and other sex toys can make it easier for the woman to orgasm.
And less and less people feel frustrated by this fact. Less people now associate taboos and ideas of promiscuity with vibrators and other sex toys, which is especially important for married peoples who feel reluctant proposing such an experiment to their spouse.
The possible downside to the use of sex toys
Everything that we wrote about by now promoted the use of sex toys. However, to be perfectly objective we still need to discuss their possible negative side. Research also reveals that men might have a harder time accepting vibrators as something that increases the quality of their sex lives.
Moreover, and even more dangerously, they sometimes might find the use of vibrators during intercourse a pleasure killer.
Men are especially vulnerable to the common misconception of vibrators equals their poor skills as a lover.
They might start feeling inferior to the toy as it manages to get their wife to climax, whilst they cannot, or not always, or not that good. But, as with all else, the solution to the problem is open, direct, and caring communication.
Both spouses should discuss how they feel about the toy prior to using and after they have tried it, and be respectful of the other’s needs. Talk about your needs, frustrations, feelings, and fears. When in discord, aim for a compromise, even when it comes to sex toys.