If you’re about to make this huge step and lose your virginity, there are a few things to know before having sex for the first time.
Yes, the world of today is a different place and you probably already know a lot about the deed even if French kiss is still a step from porn for you.
However, even though you’re being bombarded with sexuality and sex-related content every day, there are a few important things to know before having sex, and we’ll disclose them now.
1. The right time and the right person aren’t just phrases
So, you’re about to have sex for the first time – what to know?
One of the first and most important things to know before having sex is that you really should pick the right person and the right time. There’s no such thing as a universal time for people to lose their virginity.
If you feel like doing it, you should, if you don’t, you really, really shouldn’t.
The other issue is the right person.
You’re wondering what to know before having sex for the first time about your partner? You should know them well, you should be able to trust them completely, you should be in love, and you should both consider having sex for the first time a special display of your love.
You won’t be in any way inseparably tied to that person for the rest of your life, but it is something you should do with someone you can be completely comfortable with.
2. Be safe, physically and mentally
Not-so-fun things to know before having sex revolve around safety.
But they are incredibly important. Yes, virgins can get an STI, and can get pregnant. So, for the first-time sex, things to know do include contraception. Pills won’t protect you from STIs, so use condoms instead.
It might be a bit of an additional pressure, but there’s no turning back once you do it without protection.
What to do before having sex for the first time? Talk about it.
With your doctor, school psychologist, anyone you can trust. About protection, and about your fears around the whole thing. And talk about it with your partner. You should discuss these things before you get down to it, so that they don’t cause an awkward pause during your special day (or night).
3. It probably won’t be that good
If you asked a lot of teens to reflect on “What I wish I knew before losing my virginity”, you’d hear a lot of accounts of how not-mind-blowing, to say the least, their first time was.
It is, without a doubt, an important thing in your life. But, it also probably won’t involve any sort of fireworks and passion-explosions.
This is, without a doubt, one of the important things to know before having sex. It takes time to get full amount of enjoyment out of sex.
Most people have a “meh” first time, even an uncomfortable one.
Girls probably won’t orgasm. Many won’t even feel any kind of pleasure. Boys might ejaculate early. You could both feel awkward, know not what to do, and be too anxious to truly enjoy having sex.
In any case, if you lower your expectations when it comes to sexual pleasure, you might avoid feeling too much pressure, and, in return, increase your chances of a nice, more relaxed, first time sex.
4. It’s normal to feel anxious
One of the five basic things to know before having sex is – anxiety and insecurities are unavoidable.
You’d be anxious about anything you’d be doing for the first time, be it the most insignificant thing in the world.
When the thing involves naked bodies, body parts, intimacy, and all the added significance of losing one’s virginity, it’s impossible to avoid some unease.
So, what to do when it’s your first time having sex to minimize this fretfulness?
As we said earlier and can’t emphasize enough – it’s crucial that you feel comfortable with the person you’re about to lose virginity. Sex should be an act of intimacy, primarily, of emotional intimacy.
If you’re at ease with your partner, talk honestly to them about your fears, and you’ll see them gradually go away.
This is one of the important things to know before having sex, and think about before having sex.
5. There might not be any dramatic change
Finally, what to know before having sex about your life afterwards?
There might not be much change in the way you feel, there might not even be much change in your vagina (many girls have already unknowingly ruptured their hymen), there might not be much or any pain and bleeding, but there surely won’t be any visible change to an outsider’s eye.
This is one of the things to know before sex that might also help with easing the pressure. Just be there in that present moment and don’t obsess over whether it will change you and in what ways.