Are you keen to recognize the conspicuous signs of sex addiction? It is quite possible that either you are a sex addict yourself or a victim of sex addiction.
In either case, you need to learn to identify the signs of sex addiction in a relationship. It is then that you can take the necessary steps to deal with it.
Read along to recognize some visible signs of sex addiction that you might be conveniently overlooking.
It may seem odd to hear Angelou’s voice on a piece that delves into the challenges of sexual addiction, but Angelou has a lot to say about the core of the addiction and others like it.
“I don’t know if I continue, even today, always liking myself. But what I learned to do many years ago, was to forgive myself.
It is very important for every human being to forgive himself or herself because if you live, you will make mistakes- it is inevitable. But once you do and you see the mistake, then you forgive yourself and say, ‘well, if I’d known better I’d have done better,’ that’s all.
So you say to people who you think you may have injured, ‘I’m sorry,’ and then you say to yourself, ‘I’m sorry.’ If we all hold on to the mistake, we can’t see our own glory in the mirror because we have the mistake between our faces and the mirror; we can’t see what we’re capable of being.” Maya Angelou
We often engage in dangerous behavior when we are carrying tremendous burdens within us. Said another way, we hurt ourselves and others we love when we are hurting inside.
Are you always thinking about sex and wonder why is sex so addictive?
If sexual fantasy becomes a preoccupation that pulls you out of productive living, you may have a problem. While most human beings enjoy or have enjoyed sex at some point in life, a complete preoccupation with sex is a problem.
If sexual fantasy or sex keeps you from completing work or other commitments, then these are the conspicuous signs of sex addiction.
It’s time to take a step back and determine, “Why?” If you don’t feel like you can be objective in this endeavor, share your “patterns” with someone else, and ask for their feedback.
After all, being a sex addict can do no good for you in the long run.
Are you suffering from sexual addiction?
What is a sex addict? How do I know if I have a sex addiction?
The fact that you have enough insight to peruse this article suggests that either you have noticed the sex addiction signs in your partner, or you are committed to getting help and moving forward with your life.
When sex undermines our health and damages our commitment to family, work, and community, it’s time to get some help. Read on to see how many of these sexual addiction “markers” fit your situation.
Sexual addiction diminishes the most important “connections” in our lives and can introduce a host of other unsavory issues into our relationships.
2. Too much masturbation
While this may feel like an uncomfortable question to ask yourself, the answer will help you determine if addiction is in play.
People masturbate. In fact, just about every adult on the planet has masturbated at some point or another. The issue is frequency.
If you find yourself masturbating multiple times a day and just about every day of the week, it is time to seek some help. At this point, masturbation is keeping you from fulfilling the tasks of daily living.
If you masturbate less frequently but tend to masturbate right after a sexual encounter with a partner, there is also reason to be concerned.
3. Seeking pornography often
While we can refrain from a discussion on the “ethics” ofwatching pornography in the first place, let’s go ahead and admit that purchasing a pornography subscription is probably one of the sexual addiction signs or a sign that you are moving into addiction territory.
Further, if pornography is putting a dent in your daily cash flow, you can assume you have a substantial problem. Pornography objectifies human beings and offers none of the benefits of a healthy relationship.
While individuals cite a host ofreasons for infidelity, it is essential to acknowledge that infidelity destroys relationships.
One of the apparent signs of sex addiction in marriage is when your infidelity entails moving from partner to partner on a regular basis.
Do yourself and your partner(s) a favor- get some help!
Infidelity also can bring STD’s into the equation. Would you want to bring anSTD into a long-term relationship because of your sexual indiscretion? Would you want a partner to do this for you?
5. Trade-offs for sex
One of the signs of sex addiction is that you are ready to trade your time and money without putting any limit on sex. You have begun valuing sex so much that your time and money have a reduced value, and you are investing them with no upper cap, so much that it can risk your future.
6. Uncontrollable indulgence
You find it hard to control yourself from indulging in sexual activities. This is one of the signs of sex addiction. This is often referred to as hypersexuality. Here, it becomes difficult for you to cut down on sex.
7. Feelings of guilt
In sex addict behavior, there is guilt, anxiety, and depression right after sex. It might feel good at the moment but later, you could be feeling remorse. This is because on the inside, you know it is not right. However, you are not able to do anything about it.
8. Difficult to talk about the issue
You feel ashamed of the situation you are in. You might even deny or not recognize the issue on being confronted.
This means you find it difficult to discuss the issue even with people you trust. You fear judgment and the fact that no one is going to understand you.
9. Sexual dysfunctioning
This is common with young males where they face the problem of erectile dysfunction. Lifestyle factors play an important role when it comes to sexual wellbeing. Also, note that mental health issues also act as a major contributor to the problem.
So, if your thoughts are occupied with sex, this can lead to bigger problems.
A person with sex addiction can act violent or angry most of the time. Considering their mind is completely occupied with sexual thoughts, everything else might seem like a distraction to them, and they would only be relentless to engage in other activities.
So, if things don’t go their way, they can violently attack.
11. Putting yourself in danger
One of the signs of sex addiction is that a person may play with their life in order to attain sexual satisfaction. They might come in contact with dangerous people and untrustworthy acquaintances in the process.
12. Interference with professional & personal aspects
One of the signs of sex addiction is that a person’s personal and professional life is put at risk. They are unable to concentrate on their professional responsibilities and continuously lag behind.
Besides, their personal relationships get hampered too.
13. Indulging in criminal sexual offenses
People with sexual urges can go to any lengths to fulfill their sexual desire. They can go to the lengths of harming someone or exploiting them to satisfy themselves. They may even commit sexual offenses to get their way.
14. Living a double life
On one side, people with sex addiction need to live up to the expectations of being proper in society, while on the other hand, they struggle with their inner addiction they have no control of. This leads to extreme pretense because they cannot talk about their true self to anyone.
15. The kink is endless
For a person with sex addiction, they explore a lot sexually, and somehow, their urge doesn’t seem to be satisfied. The kink and fetish need to find a way to be fulfilled, and the person tries it all to do so.
How to treat sex addiction
This is the most critical question to ask yourself as you discern whether or not sexual addiction is complicating your life. So, do not overlook these warning signs of a sex addict if you identify these, it’s time to act upon the problem.
People who tend to show signs of sex addiction often have unresolved emotional injuries that have them seeking constant gratification and connection. In a way, the drive toward continuous sex orsexual fantasy is fueled by a desire to fill the voids in the heart and soul.
Generally, we know if we love ourselves or not. If your answer is a definitive “no,” then recognize that it’s time to engage a counselor, psychologist, or a well-equipped clergy person.
When you address the voids in the heart, the healing can truly begin in our lives.
There is help if you are dealing with sexual addiction. Caring individuals like counselors, spiritual leaders, and trusted friends always stand ready to step into your trouble to provide helpful guidance and excellent support.
You must also take the help of therapists where they might suggest Cognitive behavioral therapy to reduce the impulse for sex.
Try to identify the signs of sex addiction by yourself.
Tell your story to people willing and prepared to help. Prepare to let the healing currents into your life’s heaviness.
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
Sylvia Smith loves to share insights on how couples can revitalize their love lives in and out of the bedroom. As a writer at Marriage.com, she is a big believer in living consciously and encourages couples to adopt this principle in their lives too. Sylvia believes that every couple can transform their relationship into a happier, healthier one by taking purposeful and wholehearted action.