Marriage is a special bond, and living with someone almost 24/7 can really change your sex life. Much has been said about the bad side of married sex, but let’s talk about the main benefit- most married sex is ‘come as you are”. Intimacy happens while life is happening, and you have to be real and vulnerable. So let’s talk about the real sex that happens, and why we need it…
1. Way too sleepy sex
Like, you’re so tired, but you’re also kind of turned on, and you know you won’t have time to do it in the next couple of days, so let’s get it on, baby.
Benefit– You don’t have perfect conditions to connect with your partner.
2. Scheduled sex
It’s a thing and it’s nothing to be ashamed of, I swear! Better to have scheduled sex than to have no sex at all and have your vagina cobweb over from neglect. You schedule beauty appointments, so why not sex?
Benefit– You can look forward to it, and know exactly when you’ll get it on.
3. “Let’s make a baby” sex
If you’re planning to have a child, you will probably have some of this type of sex. It’s actually pretty awesome, because it’s the exact opposite of all the sex you had as a single person, so there’s something almost taboo about it.
Benefit– Sharing a goal together adds an extra layer of bonding.
4. Before-we-go-out sex
Single and dating, sex came at the end of an impressive night out. But now that you live together, you can have dessert first!
Benefit– You can get frisky while you still have energy, then relax and enjoy the evening. Heck, now you can eat as much as you want at dinner!
5. The “OK, We can’t die without doing this type of sex”
When it hits you that this is the only person you’re going be dealing with for the rest of your life, you decide to REALLY spice it up every once in a while. Those singles can talk about their threesomes and hookups all day long, but they don’t know from bucket list sexual situations.
Benefit– The sweet freedom that absolute acceptance and trust can bring!
6. “We have too many chores to do but I just want to do it” sex
This is the best — there are more opportunities for spontaneous sex when you live together. So when you’re both neck deep in dirty dishes and you decide to do it on the kitchen counter instead of scrubbing another pot — well, that’s just hot.
Benefit– You and your partner get to share those fleeting moments like the best inside secret ever.
7. “I put on lingerie so you better tell me I’m hot and then ravage me” sex
This is when you’re telling him, “You need to prove to me I am the sexiest thing you’ve ever seen, even if I’m saggy and I have cellulite.” You want to know that you can still make their jaw drop and buttons pop.
Benefit– There’s no better ego boost than great, passionate sex.
8. The mutually orgasmic sex
Sorry, singles, us married people have the market cornered on mutual orgasms. Married women are far more likely to consistently have orgasms than with new partners or one-night stands. The time together has helped you both learn where all the buttons are, and what moves you like ( note: This is definitely not the case with all married couples, but it’s far less likely that some random guy will make you howl at the moon.)
Benefit– I don’t think I need to explain this one, LOL!
9. “I love you so much how am I married to such an amazing person” sex!?
Sometimes you just look at the person you’re married to and your heart wants to explode, so you express that to them with sex. It is a true gift from the Sex Gods, and the most important kind of sex you can have.
Benefit– Gratitude and great sex is an amazing combo that makes your partner feel truly and deeply loved.
Read More: How Often Do Married Couples Have Sex?
Want to have a happier, healthier marriage?
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
More by Shanna Monahan