Do sex toys and marriage combine?
For some, they definitely do. More and more married couples open up to the idea of using some sort of sex toy to add up to their pleasure or to ignite the spark again. Others are still reluctant and fear that using a sex toy means that they can’t bring their spouses enough pleasure on their own.
There isn’t a universal recipe on whether you should try it.
This article will present what research and psychotherapists’ practice reveal about some aspects of sex toys and marriage.
The history of sex toys
Although most of us think “vibrator” (the battery operated one you buy in a sex shop) when they hear the term sex toys, they are actually as old as the Bible. It seems that humans have always been searching for ways to increase their sexual pleasure and weren’t ashamed of it until recently.
Read More: Becoming More Sexually Active – 6 Top Guarded Secrets Unraveled
Yet, after this trip of sex toys to the taboo area in the decades of puritanism, they are finding their way back to being accepted and loved.
During the sixties, it was difficult to even buy a porn magazine, let alone a sex toy. At the end of the decade, the Supreme Court revised obscenity rules, which made pornography more easily accessible.
But, sex toys were still sold in shady shops and often as medical aids. Things started changing during the seventies, but the path towards bringing sex toys out of taboo is still far from over.
Sex toys and their rise in popularity among both men and women
People in the eighties were still very anxious about using vibrators. Yet, the image changes towards better for sex toys. Interestingly, men are even more pro-sex toys in a bedroom than women.
In specific, compared to a small percentage of women who owned a vibrator back in the eighties, nowadays more than half of women own at least one vibrator. Moreover, half of the couples have incorporated it into their sex at least once. Thirty years ago, people were most anxious about the use of vibrators, fearing that they meant they were frigid or incompetent lovers.
Now, people mostly ask about how to select and use vibrators. The most interesting conclusion this article offers is the fact that couples don’t fear using a sex toy anymore.
Both men and women believe that vibrators can and do increase sexual pleasure and satisfaction.
Moreover, nowadays people believe that using vibrator actually places less pressure on the partner to bring the woman to orgasm.
Why use sex toys in marriage?
Research shows that the use of a vibrator benefits a woman’s reproductive health as well as her sex life in general.
Using a vibrator isn’t considered a thing only for the lonely women anymore. Married women use it, and it’s not because they’re unhappy. What is more, almost half of women use vibrators during foreplay here and there, and over one-third of women have used it during the intercourse itself.
Some people, both men, and women, still fear that using a sex aid such as a vibrator might diminish the woman’s sexual desire.
There is a common misconception that using a vibrator will make the woman addicted to such stimulation and uninterested in sex with her husband.
None of these beliefs are empirically confirmed.
For example, women who have used vibrators report that they experience less pain and vaginal dryness during the intercourse. Even more importantly, they experience more orgasms than women who never use vibrators or use them seldom
Therefore, when it comes to the aforementioned misconception, the opposite is true – vibrators enhance sexual desire and pleasure for all women, including married ones.
Is there still room for being a sceptic?
To be entirely objective, another research should be considered as well.
Some men report lower levels of sexual pleasure if they introduced the use of sex toys into their lovemaking. Although such a conclusion might make all the doubters run away from sex toys, consider another possibility, a methodological error.
Some men may experience lower levels of sexual satisfaction because of the underlying belief that having to use a sex toy implies their own sexual incompetence.
Such a relief would definitely evoke low sexual satisfaction.
But, remember what we’ve discussed in the previous sections. This simply isn’t the case and using a sex toy doesn’t mean that. So, venture on, and discover new levels of mutual sexual satisfaction in your marriage.
Want to have a happier, healthier marriage?
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.