Even though many married couples do understand the need to talk about certain issues to keep a marriage happy, a lot of them hesitate or feel shy about talking about one crucial aspect of marriage- sex!
Poor sex life in a marriage is an issue
One of the problems many married couples face relate to their sex lives. Once the knot is tied, it is very easy to grow comfortable around each other and fall into a routine, inside the bedroom, too.
While being comfortable with each other is essential, falling into a routine can leave a lot to be desired by both partners.
Also, many married couples see their sex lives dwindling after they have had their first child.
Where has the passion gone? Where is the excitement?
Being married is about fulfilling each other’s needs, and that is why to lead a happy marriage, talking about sex is important.
Even if you have had years of sexual practice or no practice at all before getting married, all of the experience or inexperience might not be of any help to you.
How to lead satisfying sex lives after marriage?
Fret not because there are ways to help you and your partner lead wonderful sex lives after marriage, and yes, even after you have had a child or two.
It is about friendship
One such source, to help you, is the Gott Sex? Series by Drs. John and Julie Gottman. The two talk about how the best sex is related to having a strong friendship.
This also means that having strong communication between partners can aid in bettering sex lives. It is all about creating and maintaining an emotional connection.
Some couples tend to blame the media for the kind of sex lives they are leading. To them, the media makes everything too sexy and not relatable at all. Pornography falls under this, also. It is as if there isn’t ‘sexiness’ involved, there is no need to have sex. Everything on our screens seems to have a primal feel to it.
However, it is important to note that according to research, being primal with your partner isn’t the only route to take. Sensuality plays a significant role in ensuring happy, healthy and thus, fulfilling sex lives for both partners.
Below are some points which can help you not only understand the importance of talking about sex for a happy marriage but how you can initiate such conversations in your union.
Feeling comfortable in a marriage
If might be too bold to think of such a notion, but there should be no sexual shame in a marriage. Knowing about what each other likes or dislikes in bed is the cornerstone for experiencing a fulfilling sex life.
You or your partner might, understandably, feel shy or hesitant about having such a conversation. So, if you choose, it is okay to take it slow. There’s no need to blurt out all your sexual fantasies or what you want during the very first conversation. You can ease into it.
Talk about where you like to be touched and also listen to where your partner would like to be touched the next time you are intimate with each other, and then work your way from there.
Partners should not keep their sexual desires bottled up because doing so isn’t going to do your relationship any good.
But where and when to talk about this?
Of course, you can’t necessarily have this conversation at the dinner table with kids around. Texting each other isn’t recommended either because face-to-face interaction is essential.
A good time to talk about such stuff is while you are cuddled up on the sofa or even before going to bed. Once you take the first step, no matter how awkward it might feel, initiating such a conversation down the line will become easier for you.
Having sex isn’t only about satisfying your primal urges through such an act. Intimacy plays a vital role in ensuring healthy marriages.
You need to have a strong connection with your partner to have great sex… the kind of sex that matters for you both on a physical as well as emotional level.
Talking about sex will help you cultivate a relationship which is intimate and satisfying. Keep in mind being intimate isn’t all about having sex either. Intimacy can have many faces.
Staying committed to your partner and being okay with growing old together can help increase intimacy in a relationship even if sexual intercourse isn’t in the equation due to specific medical issues.
Wrapping it up
Work on cultivating a relationship that is sincere so you and your partner can form a connection and thus, a marriage which is fulfilling emotionally and sexually. Make sure to not only share what you desire but also listen to what your partner needs. A fulfilling sex life is a two-way street. You need to give as well as receive for it to work the best.