Quickies: 5 Minute Couples Exercises For Better Intimacy
Marriage & Family Therapist |
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6 mins
Updated: 17 Oct, 2019
When you start a new relationship or get married, intimacy is arguably a natural process. However, over time, you get more comfortable and stop making the same effort as you used to at the beginning of that relationship.
And when you are caught up in the world around you, it becomes very difficult to notice a lack of intimacy, let alone working on improving it.
But what couples fail to understand is that reengaging intimacy in a marriage is actually very easy, and you need to set aside 5 minutes of your time every day for some intimacy exercises for couples.
Here are some exercises that I recommend for my couples for homework; I find that it’s a short and quick way to begin uncovering vulnerability and increasing intimacy.
Just 5 minutes of these therapy exercises"}'>couples therapy exercises could make all the difference in your day and marriage!
Here’s a quick step-by-step guide to some intimacy exercises for couples
Heads on pillows
Instructions for heads on pillow couples exercise:
- Make sure to devote five minutes to this exercise. Be present and engaged with your partner with no distractions.
- With clothes on, lie down and face each other at eye level and place both of your heads on a pillow.
- Be still, don’t make faces, gestures.
- Look into your partner’s eyes and try to see all the way into his or her soul.
- Look at your partner continuously without breaking contact.
- Allow yourself to let go into the experience beyond any initial feelings until you breakthrough to connection.
- Once five minutes are up, talk to your partner about the experience. What feelings did it bring up? Did you experience your partner in a different way?
Many things could happen; you could giggle, cry, or have any number of emotions come up.
Whatever happens, is all perfectly fine, use this relationship-building activity for couples to connect and talk to your mate and have it be a conversation starter.
Talk about how to build intimacy in a relationship and whether you both find it easy or hard to be vulnerable and let people fully in, and how you have experienced this all of your life.
Remember, such a couple’s intimacy games or couples relationship exercises can be transformative in your marriage!
Connect your breathing
Instructions for building intimacy by connecting your breathing:
- Make sure to devote five minutes to this exercise. Be present and engaged with your partner with no distractions.
- Sit down in a quiet place and lean your forehead against your partners.
- Close your eyes and focus on your breathing. Make your breaths slower and deeper.
- Sync your breathing with that of your partners.
- Approximately around the 7th breath, your breathing would be aligned, and you would feel more connected with your partner.
- Eventually, you would want to reach out to your part and even feel a sudden urge for physical intimacy.
The answer for how to bring intimacy back into a relationship or how to bring back intimacy in a marriage is very simple, however as you and your partners get caught in the rigors of life the determinations and patience fo building intimacy withers away.
This marriage intimacy exercise helps couples to relax and calm down. This way, they are able to ground themselves and boost their connection.
Soul Gazing
Instructions for soul gazing intimacy exercise for couples:
- Just like the previous building intimacy exercises, make sure to devote five minutes. Be present and engaged with your partner to ensure there are no distractions.
- Sit down in a quiet place and face your partner. Be close to each other, but avoid touching each other.
- Look into your partner’s eyes and try to establish uninterrupted eye contact for approximately 2-4 minutes.
- It would be difficult at first and might even feel awkward or embarrassed. But do try to push on.
- Think of your partner’s eyes as a deep well and try to find its end.
- You don’t have to stare without blinking, just let it disrupt your focus
- Attempt this a few times in a week and the process would become much easier and engaging
Eyes are considered to be the windows to a person’s soul. In this day and age, where we hardly get the time to contemplate yourself, soul gazing acts as an emotional intimacy exercise that strengthens your relationship.
Active listening
One of the essential aspects of building intimacy in a marriage or relationship is to exercise active listening.
How can you fulfill your partner’s emotional and physical needs when you can’t even listen to what they expect and want from you.
This intimacy exercise for couples lays out simple but specific steps that can help couples improve their ability to listen and communicate with each other.
Instructions for practicing active listening:
- Set a timer for 5 minutes.
- You can either decide what topic you want to discuss or just go with the flow.
- Again make sure to be present and engaged with your partner with no distractions.
- Whomsoever starts, the conversation gets 5 minutes to talk and express their views and opinions.
- During this time, the other person listens carefully, making mental notes of the key aspects of what is being said to them.
- In the next step, the one who was listening substantiates their understanding of what they have heard by asking questions, preferably close-ended.
- Now the timer would be reset, and the one listening earlier would get the opportunity to say their peace.
- This exercise is repeated amicably until either you have found a solution, or when there is nothing else left to talk about.
- Also, make sure to address your partner with non-verbal queues to keep the conversation engaging.
Use these exercises when you an and wherever you can to bring back the lost intimacy in your marriage.
Want to have a happier, healthier marriage?
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
Marissa Nelson is the Founder & CEO of IntimacyMoons Couples Retreats. She is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), Sex Therapist & Divorce Mediator, and specializes in couples & intimacy issues. She has served as a private practitioner working with a broad spectrum of clients in the Greater Washington DC, and now conducts workshops and speaking engagements about intimacy and connection.
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