A quickie, or quick sex, is probably the furthest thing on a troubled spouses’ minds.
When a marriage is deteriorating, for one reason or another, the couple might not be having sex at all, let alone being in the mood for a quickie. A quickie is usually reserved for either freshly wedded couples or those who are highly sexual throughout their marriages.
But, a declining marriage surely isn’t full of quickies. Nonetheless, if you do wish to improve your marriage quickies might be the most fun and a very efficient way to start.
Marriage and sex 101
There’s no such a thing as a universal recipe for a successful marriage.
The same goes for sex in marriage, which can range from non-existent to non-stop in both good and bad marriages. That said, even though there are perfectly happy sexless marriages, it is usually so that as the quality of a relationship declines so does the frequency and the quality of sex.
The reasons are many
Whether it is that torturous inertia that so many couples struggle with, or it is explosive events such as affairs or different traumatic experiences that happen to a family member) that burden the relationship, sex is often the first to show the signs of trouble.
Resentment, boredom, anger, sadness, all those are a true lust-killer.
Adding to these problems that aren’t, strictly speaking, directly associated with sex, there are also many issues that regard sex-life of a couple as such.
Sex is, by its nature, a problem area for many married couples. Taboos, differences in libidos, differences in temperaments, sexual incompatibility, health-related issues with sex, you name it.
This is why marriage, although not many will openly admit, is inevitably closely associated with problems in the bedroom. Research shows that there is a strong correlation between marital satisfaction and sexual satisfaction.
Which is what you can use to improve your marriage as a whole, as we will show you right away.
How to use sex as a band-aid for a broken marriage
Now, although, as we discussed earlier you probably don’t really feel up to sex when your marriage is jammed with problems, here’s what you might want to consider.
You might say that sex is supposed to be about spontaneity. Or so we’re told in the movies. In real life, even the most perfect of all marriages usually involve a bit of planning and conscious effort to make the sex life work.
So, why not use all of this to fix your marriage? Here’s how.
First of all, dismiss the idea that sex needs to happen on its own as an impulsive culmination of unspeakable passion and attraction, be explosive and wild.
If you keep expecting that, you might find yourself really disappointed once the initial, chemical attraction fades away.
Plan your sexual encounters
Introduce date nights, or, at least, sex nights. Reintroduce lingerie, sex toys, makeup, perfumes, all that you deemed essential in the first months of your dating and have completely forgotten as your daily lives took over. And, most importantly, start having quickies.
Quickies are not only great for your mind and body, but they will also make you both feel fresh as a couple again. They will bring back the memories of your first days together, and also help you feel attractive and young again. They will, with time, awaken the passion and love for sex.
They’re not burdening, you don’t really have to play out the entire foreplay scenario or prepare too much, which often only increases the tension. And the best thing about quickies – they’re quick! You can always find those five minutes of time to bring a great pause to your stressful day.
Still not convinced? Think of what sex does to your mind and body on a merely chemical level.
Sex is actually like an intense workout with the best finish possible. That means that you get two things out of sex.
You get the physical refreshment as you would from a great aerobic class, and you also get the surge of hormones that will make you really happy.
These hormones are also associated with psychological benefits of sex. As you climax, you and your partner will begin to feel closeness and affection again. Flooded with neurotransmitters, when you look at your partner after sex, be it a quickie, you will gradually begin to feel love and comfort around them once again.
Want to have a happier, healthier marriage?
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.