Top Smart and Helpful Tips for Make-Your-Mate-Smile Sex
Psychologist Dr. Kevin Leman says, “Sex begins in the kitchen.” You need to work all day at keeping mystery and romance alive in your marriage as well as find ways to make your partner happy.
If men fail to recognize or value the efforts put up by their wives especially when she is up to her ears in diapers and dirty dishes, then she will probably be less than responsive to your amorous advances at bedtime.
So, you should learn to make your partner happy in every possible way.
Understanding what women want in relationships
A woman wants a whole relationship, not just sex.
The 1995 novel and movie The Bridges of Madison County depicted a woman who sees herself as plain and unappreciated until a stranger uncovers her creativity, intellect, and femininity. She awakens to become that wholly alive beauty in a brief affair with him that she secretly treasures for the rest of her life.
Men, be advised, you, too, have the power to either bring out this latent beauty or to squelch it (as her husband did) in your wife.
1. Women yearn for romance only
Women yearn for romance for their own sake and not as a means to an end.
Men should not expect that as soon as their wives bring home flowers, light a few candles, or run a bubble bath, their wives would want to immediately jump to have passionate sex with them.
On the contrary, she might just wish to enjoy the quiet candlelit moment with her partner and talk about her day or hear about yours. So, ask her what she considers to be romantic, and then incorporate those things into your relationship and make your partner happy.
2. Women enjoy nonsexual touching
Women prefer nonsexual touching.
They like to be held, stroked, and cuddled without feeling obligated to give anything in return. Otherwise, they may end up feeling like sexual objects, mere receptacles for their husband’s sperm.
Unfortunately for men, but that is how a wife feels and expects out of her partner. As a husband, if you fail to demonstrate that behavior, then you may end up losing her forever.
So, make your partner happy by valuing her for her other qualities and contributions to your marriage,
3. Be quick to ask forgiveness
Keep short accounts, that is, be quick to ask forgiveness for any hurts and misunderstandings to maintain emotional oneness.
4. Be sensitive to each other’s needs
Ask any woman questions like ‘how to make your man happy, emotionally or sexually in a relationship?’ They are aware of the different tricks and tips on how to keep their men happy, both physically and emotionally.
Likewise, it is the responsibility of you as responsible husbands to learn ways to make your partner happy. A husband’s testosterone-driven need for sex is every bit as viable as a wife’s need to cry or vent her feelings during an estrogen-charged, hormonally challenging day.
5. Offer help without waiting to be asked
Again as responsible husbands, you should recognize when your wife is overloaded with chores so that you could offer to help without waiting to be asked.
If you happen to see the crying baby tugging on Mommy’s pant leg while she is trying to help Junior with his math and little Sissie with her spelling, and the dirty dinner dishes are still piled in the sink, I hope you’re not also thinking, “I wonder if she’ll be up for a little action tonight.”
Just remember! Sometimes washing the dishes and putting the baby to bed are the sexiest things you can do.
6. Accept criticism and kill anger, not emotions
Understand criticism and anger kill emotional oneness.
If you wish to make your partner happy, just weigh your words and be aware of subtle (or not-so-subtle) underlying messages in your tone of voice and facial expressions.
All you need to do is just kill your anger but do not end the emotional oneness with her.
Few relationship tips for women
Women and young girls are quite adept with the art of keeping their partners happy. So, when questioned on related topics such as ‘How do you make your man happy in a relationship?’, you are likely to be blessed with numerous interesting replies.
But, modern women should rid themselves of a few negative ideas such as –
1. Wives have to respect husbands
Thinking that we as wives have really no choice in this matter, but are commanded to R-E-S-P-E-C-T our husbands no matter what, then that thinking is absolutely WRONG.
Stop what you’re doing right now and take a deep breath, close your eyes, and thank the Lord for giving you this man to be your lover, hero, provider, and protector of your home.
Think of all his positive attributes and plan ways to let him know how much you appreciate him for these things.
2. You have to meet his main need – sex
As wives, remember that when you’re having sex with your husband, you’re meeting his number one need.
Thoughts like these are outright negative. Don’t treat them lightly. Instead, consider this is one of the best ways to make your partner happy. Here, you are making a connection with him that can’t be made in any other way.
You’re intensifying the magnetic attraction that keeps him coming back for more and prevents his eye from roving elsewhere to get that need met.
Few other couple tips for enjoying a blissful married life
1. Sex releases tension, physically and emotionally
Sex provides both of you with a release of tension, physically and emotionally, while providing you with a way to be sensitive to each other as you learn how to make sacrifices as well as give and receive pleasures.
2. Keep some practical aids nearby
Personal lubricant, Kleenex or a washcloth, breath mints or gum, lotion or massaging oils for backrubs or foot rubs, romantic music, candles, and matches are few of the practical aids that should be available when needed.
3. Personal hygiene
If you wish to make your partner happy, always remember to take care of your personal hygiene.
Cleanliness is next to Godliness.
4. Most women need privacy
Does your bedroom door lock? Are the children occupied so they won’t distract you?
Some partners often “swap for sex” and take turns babysitting for one another’s children to ensure uninterrupted time for intimacy.
5. Keep your phone away
Again, if you wish to make your partner happy and enjoy peace at home, agree not to answer the phone when they are near you.
Phones and other gadgets like laptops and tablets can be the major source of distraction and resentment in relationships. Set a rule – let your voice mail or answering machine do the job for you.
6. Keep the mystery alive
Always try out new things to keep some of the mystery alive. Things like turning the lights down low and slow dancing with all your clothes on just to feel your bodies moving together. Else, feeding each other strawberries dipped in chocolate, then licking the chocolate off each other’s fingers and so on.
Anything that will serve as more of a prelude to sex than just taking off your clothes and getting into bed, will work just fine to keep the flame of love burning.
7. Available resources can help
Take advantage of the resources available to you such as books, CDs and tapes, DVDs and videotapes for ideas.
Focus on the Family (Dr. James Dobson), FamilyLife (Dennis Rainey), Marriage Partnership magazine, the Association of Marriage and Family Ministries (AMFM—Eric and Jennifer Garcia), Real Relationships (Drs. Les and Leslie Parrot), Smalley Relationship Center (Drs. Gary and Greg Smalley), and the National Association of Marriage Enhancement (NAME—Leo and Molly Godzich), not to mention our own Walk & Talk Ministries are just a few who provide expert marital advice via conferences, the Internet and bookstores.
8. Accept the not-so-perfect experiences
Realize that not every experience has to be a perfect “10,” that is, your idea of mutually explosive, simultaneous orgasms.
Sometimes a woman is willing to settle for a “quickie” to please her man and move on to the next thing in her busy life. But be sure to have a meaningful connection, when you’re focused on each other’s pleasure, at least once a week.
9. Plan dates for mutual pleasuring
Make dates for these special sessions of mutual pleasuring, especially if you know your spouse has a “prime time.”
10. Communicate with each other
Be willing to talk about your preferences with each other.
Does your spouse like foot rubs or back rubs or neck rubs? Tickles or back scratches? A variety of positions? Looking into each other’s eyes?
These things are best discussed in a relaxed setting when you have plenty of time and no interruptions.
11. Plan romantic getaways
Which brings us to our final tip-top tip to make your partner happy.
Set aside a few days once or twice a year to get away with each other—AND WITHOUT THE KIDS—to focus only on your relationship. These getaways or “Triple-R Weekends” for Romance, Recreation, and Renewal are perfect to make your partner happy.
Want to have a happier, healthier marriage?
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
Alan Heller
Coach
I am directive and supportive. I apply scriptural principles to evey day life situations. I believe you can change if you are willing to do what is needed for change.
(Alan is also listed in Best Marriage Therapists in Phoenix)
