In every culture across the world, marital planning is inspired by family values, and most newlyweds will plan for children. Though many couples may wait longer than was typical of decades past, the challenging dynamics of family life are unchanged.
First-time parents-to-be face the most dynamic transition, and are hardly ever truly prepared. The arrival of a new baby or the welcoming of an adopted child, always yields a much higher demand on a parent’s energy than was expected. As a result of the changes children bring, parents often face a decline in their lovemaking after children.
Below we address some of the reasons for the drop in intimacy, and provide tips on how to avoid it.
1. Avoid the family bed habit
It is tempting to let the baby sleep with you; and it is a habit that is very difficult to break once established. A child can sleep with his parents for years after he becomes partial to the arrangement. Many new parents do not realize how difficult the habit is to break once entrenched.
2. Resist the temptation to veg out
Parents are tired at the end of the day. Chilling out in front of the TV may sound great, but you might fall asleep and ruin your chance to get intimate. If this sounds like you, keep your energy up in the evening and try to save some for your partner.
3. Use a baby monitor
If you are worried about your baby or child in the other room, a baby monitor allows you to have your time while also keeping an eye or an ear on things. This can facilitate uninterrupted lovemaking.
4. Don’t forget about the babysitter
It is sometimes necessary to schedule some time just to be together with your spouse, and allow yourselves a break from parenting responsibilities. Just remember to use your time wisely.
5. Make the most of opportunities
Whenever there are opportunities to fool around – take them! Remember you don’t always have to be at home to seize the moment. It doesn’t have to be night, either. When the kids are at school or grandma’s, and you find yourselves with some idle time – go ahead and be spontaneous.