There’s a lot of pressure when you are about to experience sex for the first time.
Chances are this will be the first time you have been so intimate and vulnerable with somebody- it’s a big deal. At least it is at the time.
However, as you will come to see, first-time sex is not such a big deal in the long term, and you will reflect fondly on your funny, fumbly, first-time sex experience.
So if you are about to experience first-time sex, remember it’s a natural thing, and you won’t be the perfect first time around – but you can do some things to help improve your confidence and experience.
Here are some of our best first-time sex tips to help you understand how to have sex for the first time.
Manage your expectations
A piece of essential first-time sex advice is to manage your expectations.
Unrealistic expectations always get us in trouble; we often form unrealistic expectations that can be biased toward being too perfect or too terrible.
Usually, most of our experiences in life are somewhere in the middle! It’s the same with first-time sex.
Here are some tips for first-time sex to keep your expectations in check.
Ignore the romantic, earth-shattering first-time sex scenes you see on television. Chances are you’ll finish your first time wondering ‘was that it?’, ‘was that all it was about?’.
Sex gets better with time and practice. It also improves depending on the love and intimacy you feel with your sexual partner. So don’t be put off if your first-time sex didn’t run smoothly.
Remember that your partner, whether they have had sex before or not, has never had sex with you and likes you enough to want to have sex with you – they will also be nervous too.
It’s not about the moves so much during first-time sex; it’s more about the enthusiasm and enjoyment you express. Even if you don’t enjoy your first-time sex (many don’t), the enthusiasm about trying again and exploring further will make you a god or goddess in your partner’s eyes.
Foreplay makes a huge difference during any sex – not just first-time sex, and that can include kissing and heavy petting. You can’t get enough of it – seriously.
You won’t have a sexual technique mastered yet, so your first-time sex is going to be a bit stumbly and nothing like how you will enjoy sex in the future.
Do not hesitate to talk about your experience with your partner. This creates rooms for both of you to make suggestions to what you liked and where you can improve.
Worried about how to prepare for first-time sex, remember to just have fun with it – if you do, we promise that you’ll look back to your first time with fond memories while smiling and shaking your head at how cute and naive you were.
Learn some moves
Here are some more helpful first-time sex tips for couples:
Some moves will come naturally so if you don’t know any during your first-time sex, it’s ok, you’ll naturally get the idea for what to do – enough to get you through your first-time sex.
There are many moresexual moves that will improve your confidence and enjoyment of sex. If you understand what to do during your first-time sex and how to move, by learning from others, it will improve your confidence and enjoyment and will level up your sexual prowess. Take time to research such moves, and you’ll already stand out during your first-time sex because most people don’t research.
Learn foreplay techniques and read sex tips for pleasing your partner just a few at a time, so you don’t become overwhelmed, and you’ll find you discover lots of fun ways to experience sex in the future.
Being enthusiastic and enjoying yourself during first-time sex will please both you and your partner, so if everything else goes wrong – stay enthusiastic, and you’ll still have fun.
Learn about what you like; through sex, research, and self-discovery, it’s a great strategy for future-proofing yoursex life.
As you become more ‘experienced’ with sex, the research and inspiration will never stop there is always some new delicacy to try out sexually, a new move, technique, and so on.
Stay on top of learning how to improve your sexual portfolio, as well as on how to develop intimacy with your partner, and you’ll have a fabulous time sexually in the future.
Focus on the sensations you are feeling during your first-time sex and concentrate on helping your partner feel such sensations, too – it will help you take the overthinking out of the experience.
Remember your boundaries
Boundaries are what allows us to be safe during sex. These first-time sex tips for women emphasize the importance of ensuring certain boundaries before engaging in sexual activities with your partner.
It’s important to practice safe sex – so even if he or she complains about using a condom, it’s perfectly acceptable for you to insist.
If you don’t want to do something, say so.
Decide if you want to let your partner know if it’s your first time. You are not obligated to, but you might want to. This way, your partner should be more understanding – but if they are not – then it’s a very big clue that you are not with the right sexual partner for you!
Have confident sexual communication
Another crucial advice for first-time sex is to be confident when communicating about your sexual preferences.
Remember that sex should never hurt, so it’s ok to stop something if it hurts. Knowing this during first-time sex will help you identify the boundaries you are comfortable with. Just ask your sexual partner to be more gentle as a first approach.
If you enjoyed something, tell your partner. Your partner needs feedback so that they can learn how to have sex with you in a way that you both enjoy.
Express to your partner the enthusiasm you feel when you are enjoying something during first-time sex, it will help them learn more about what you might enjoy and will help you to communicate to your partner that you are enjoying yourself.
Own your body
Don’t be shy about your body; first-time sex will be so much pleasure for both of you if you are body confident.
Groom yourself in preparation. It will make you feel good and is also a necessary hygiene requirement. Make sure you are fresh and clean, shaved appropriately, and not too overly scented for maximum fun.
Choose underwear that makes you feel good about yourself and takes care of the spots that you don’t want to show off. This strategy will help you to feel confident as you head into your first-time sex.
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Sylvia Smith loves to share insights on how couples can revitalize their love lives in and out of the bedroom. As a writer at Marriage.com, she is a big believer in living consciously and encourages couples to adopt this principle in their lives too. Sylvia believes that every couple can transform their relationship into a happier, healthier one by taking purposeful and wholehearted action.