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Coming Together: Ways to Be Sexually Compatible in a Marriage

Sexually Compatible in a Marriage

You love your partner. But when it comes to sex, you are Venus and the other person is Mars. If this is the case, you are not alone. People begin marriages with their own set of sexual needs and desires. Sometimes, both folks are on the same page when it comes to sex, but often they are not. It is unrealistic to say that love will find a way, since sex is an important component is a relationship. If two people are not sexually satisfied in a relationship, the relationship will suffer.

 

There is a lot of information on how to be on the same level when it comes to sex drives. Nonetheless, it is important to be on the same level when it comes to sex acts as well. What if one person enjoys receiving oral sex, but the other one doesn’t like to perform it? What if your partner wants to tie you up, but you flat out refuse?

 

These differences can be a bring tension into the relationship. In order for there to be any type of progress, there needs to be open communication in finding a middle ground in which both parties are sexually satisfied.

Let’s talk about sex

More times than often, couples neglect the main step: being truthful about what they enjoy during sex and what they don’t. When it comes to sex, you need to be honest about what you like and what you don’t. Keep in mind though, this conversation will bring subjects up that might be uneasy.

 

Regardless, it would best to be positive and tactful when discussing your sex life with your partner. Instead of just running down a list of what you don’t like, tell the other person what he or she does that really brings you pleasure. A great tool to find out what turns each of you on is an interactive questionnaire called Mojo Upgrade. It lets you rank your interest level in a list of sexual fantasies. This could be a way to get the much-needed conversation started.

Bend a little

You will be hard pressed to find someone who enjoys everything you do sexually, which is why compromising in a relationship is so important. After the both of you discover what you want sexually, the next step is finding out what the other person needs to be satisfied sexually and what each other’s sexual limits are.

 

Regardless of what is discovered, the bottom line is that there must be compromising from both parties in order for there to be sexual gratification. Needless to say, you might have to step outside your comfort zone to bring your partner the pleasure they desire. You shouldn’t do anything that will damage you emotionally, but you might want to open up to trying something new and exciting. You never know; you might discover that the act brings you as much satisfaction as your partner.

 

Being on the same sexual level is a vital element in any relationship. If you are prepared to communication and compromising, you and your partner will be able to work through your differences. In order for any relationship to work, you and your partner need to be on one accord.

  VERIFIED EXPERT
Malyka Cardwell is a Couple and Family Therapist at Philadelphia MFT. She is skilled in working with individuals and couples focusing on areas such as sexual abuse, infidelity, intimacy building, anxiety, friendship counseling and issues pertaining to adolescents.

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