Break up sex is intense, erotic and wild – the intimacy levels are unique and well, if everyday sex could be as good as makeup sex then nobody would be trying to figure out how to heal a dry spell in their relationship.
Break up sex is usually so much more intense than normal sex but the big question is why does break-up sex have such an effect?
The arousal transfer theory
This break-up sex theory poses that the highly emotional and aroused state you have reached during your break up is turned into sexual energy as a way of processing it.
The bridge experiment conducted by Donald Dutton and Arthur Aron in 1974 is a classic example of how fear can promote different responses in attraction than a ‘normal’ environment.
In this experiment, an attractive woman contacted men while they were either standing on a fear-inducing bridge or a normal safe bridge. Afterward, they completed a questionnaire in which those who were on the fear-inducing bridge demonstrated a significantly higher level of sexual arousal.
Could it be possible that when all is lost, when you know it’s time to let go and move on, the fear of losing someone you love along with the fear of your future ahead encourages one last moment of high-intensity break-up sex?
It certainly seems that could contribute to the effects of break up sex.
It’s a similar story with make-up sex too, although the release of the fear of loss might be the potent ingredient that triggers the arousal transfer response.
Interestingly, arousal theory can be induced by positive and negative emotions too which means it’s entirely possible to create this response at will, to enhance your sexual interactions if you desire!
So if you are not yet sure about what break up sex is, here’s what you need to know.
Breakup sex is the sex you have with your partner shortly before, during or after you’ve broken up and it can be incredible.
When a couple is engaging in break up sex, it is very likely that they are fully in the moment, enjoying their limited time with someone they have loved.
Indulging in every last sensation and experience that they have enjoyed and have probably taken for granted for so long. While knowing that there will never be such an opportunity again. Break up sex is do or die and it promotes a sense of being present sexually that we often take for granted in everyday life.
There is no constraint when it comes to break up sex, it is a real-time physical response and summary of everything you have ever been together, everything you have become together and everything you will be without them in the future – it’s hardly surprising that it’s so good.
Watch out though there are risks involved with breakup sex
Breakup sex is even better when the relationship was generally good, but you have both realized that it’s time to part. It induces a loving vibe and seems to be the best way to express goodbye and to project all of the love you feel for each other.
However, in other circumstances break up sex can be risky it can:
- Create confusion
- Especially if one party is not ready to let their relationship go. It can confuse emotions and make you question whether you have made the right decision. It can also make it difficult to move on.
- Draw somebody back into a violent or harmful relationship.
- Because of the confusion caused emotionally and mentally, it can draw people back into a relationship that frankly they should run from.
- It can drag out the break up and turn a relationship ugly over time. Especially if you have become confused over the needed break up and you have attempted to rekindle the relationship.
- Be used to keep somebody close that one partner doesn’t want to let go.
Ideally, the best rule of thumb when it comes to break up sex is to only indulge in it if you still care for each other and want to remain friends and if you both want to separate. This way some of the risks of break up sex are reduced.
In conclusion breakup, sex is an intoxicating and wonderful experience in the right situation, but the risk of emotional confusion can be high.
It’s important to realize that breakup sex should be mutual and only good if both parties are willing to walk away from the relationship in the first place.
It’s a high-risk situation if you attempt to use break up sex as a way to solve a problem.
That said, you don’t have to wait for a break up to experience the intense sexual wonders of it, you could really start to appreciate your lover every time you are intimate as if you won’t see them again and watch how your everyday sex and intimacy improves tenfold.