When it comes to sex, most people often focus on the end goal (orgasm) or the problem preventing sex such as low libido, relationship issues or sexual dysfunction. What most people miss is that arousal is pretty much everything when it comes to initiating sexual activity.
If we are not aroused sexually, we won’t be desiring a hedonistic sexual moment with our partners or spouses – it will be quite the opposite.
But if we are aroused sexually, we are very likely to be motivated toward the next step which is to have sex. Arousal is the key that unlocks the door to an active and sex life yet so many people miss this.
Most people don’t realize that creating more opportunity to get aroused will likely lead to more sex!
Arousal occurs differently for men and women
Men and women both become aroused differently both psychologically and physiology, so the first step to learning how to arouse and be aroused is to determine how a man and a woman (unless you are in a same-sex relationship) becomes aroused.
However, both men and women quickly shut down if they feel abused, ridiculed, inferior or inadequate.
So, attention should be applied to learn how to arouse yourself and your partner or spouse in a way that empowers you both.
It’s when we understand more about the idea of arousal we can arouse our partners and spouses, keep ourselves aroused and teach our partners or spouses how to arouse us. Just imagine how intimate and fulfilling your sex life would be if you and your spouse were both regularly aroused throughout the day and were discussing it with each other.
You’d both be rushing home for a quickie before dinner!
Think about it, if you spent the day feeling aroused, and you are in a relationship how would you feel about;
- Having sex tonight?
The chances are that you would feel great about yourself and sex would most definitely be on the cards when you have the opportunity to have sex.
Also, the knock-on effect of a regular and healthy sex life will only enhance the sense of arousal and improve the health and vitality of both spouses. And aside from all of the practical benefits of being aroused, you have to agree that the feeling of being aroused is a delicious sensation that almost brings us to life and fills us with energy and vitality. Being aroused makes us feel awake, alert and probably at our best – it’s another reason to spend some time learning how to arouse yourself and your partner. It’s a win-win situation.
So how do we create more opportunity to get aroused?
Here are our best tips for creating more arousal opportunities for yourself or your partner or spouse.
1. Understand the difference between how men and women become aroused
So that you can work on your own arousal and understand how to arouse your man or woman too, remember both sexes are not aroused in the same way, which means that assuming that your partner is aroused in the same way as you is not going to work.
2. Discuss arousal with your partner
Discussing the topic of arousal with your partner or spouse will open the door for more communication about what turns you on or off. It also opens the platform to discuss who is responsible for arousing who.
Assuming that your partner should be the one to arouse you is another overlooked issue.
We often expect our partners to work to arouse us (women especially) but what would happen if we worked on arousing ourselves and our spouses?
A fantastic sex life probably!
3. Research different ways to become aroused
Finding out what arouses you and your spouse could (and should) be a fun hobby. Maybe you might like to read or watch erotica together, experiment more with your senses, or fantasize about your spouse being the ultimate sex god or goddess of your dreams. You can see how fantasy, toys, trust, and intimate communication can play a massive part in creating delicious opportunities to get aroused.
4. Practice staying aroused
Play a game with your spouse to practice who can get and stay aroused for the longest throughout the day, discuss your techniques and strategies and enjoy learning about how you both kept yourself in the state of arousal.
Perhaps you could save the discussion about who did what to stay aroused for the pillow talk after you’ve released the pent up tension you’ve created for yourselves all day. And don’t forget to notice how much more vigor and energy you may have had to help you breeze through the day in the process.
In conclusion, it makes sense that if we learn how to create opportunities to get aroused that we will increase our sex life, libido, sensuality, energy levels, and esteem. When you think about it it’s crazy to think that all this time most of us have been focusing on the end game and not the hook.
But now we are in the know, we can all enjoy a vibrant and fulfilling sex life and a vital life experience too.
Now that’s an arousing thought!
Want to have a happier, healthier marriage?
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.