Being a parent can be so stressful, not only because of the visceral and very deep care that you have for your children but also because you constantly worry about their future.
How will they turn out? Am I doing everything right? What if something goes wrong? Will it all be my fault?
Moreover, for many couples parenthood also becomes challenging as it starts affecting their marital relationship. Marital problems arise mainly when spouses disagree about parenting issues.
Such marriage stress caused by parenting a child can consume a marriage. This article will help you understand ‘is parenting burnout destroying your marriage’ and ‘how to save your marriage from parenthood.’
As you probably know, you’re not the only married couple with these concerns, but you should also be aware that there are ways you can feel less stressed.
One of the biggest reasons for stress is your child’s education. Every parent wants their child to thrive and be successful, and education plays a big role in determining your child’s future prospects in life.
So, if you’re looking for the right school or trying to find the financial means to pay for your child’s tuition fees, here are some ways that can help you cope and be less anxious:
1. First of all, think of your child
No matter how much you’re trying to keep your cool in front of your child, it’s inevitable for your child to feel stressed in return, especially if you’re constantly pushing your child to get better greats and achieve more.
It’s fairly reasonable why you’re doing — after all, some of the most prestigious schools have very high requirements for their future students, but if your child is really struggling to get that top math grade, your pushing will just make them feel more anxious and less receptive to the actual knowledge.
Children should be focused on learning and passing their exams, instead of fulfilling their parents’ dreams.
So, if you’re really looking to send your child to a better learning institution, you should talk to your child beforehand and make them understand that their part of the job is to study and focus on getting good grades. No child will respond well to threats, blackmails and pressure.
2. Have an honest conversation with yourself and your partner
This may be the most difficult step, but if you really want to feel less stressed, you need to sit down and have a sincere conversation with yourself and your spouse.
Why do you want to send your child to the best school out there? Is it really about their future or are you trying to fulfill your own dreams and ambition?
The truth is, there’s nothing sadder than a parent that tries to push their child into a certain direction solely because they’re hoping a child would fulfill their own dreams that somehow didn’t come true.
Now, it’s perfectly logical that you want your child to have opportunities that you didn’t have, but it’s also important to let your child make their own mistakes and learn from them.
Motivating your child to do better is fine, but forcing them to do things they’re not interested in, isn’t going to make them smarter or more successful.
It certainly won’t do any good for your relationships because there’s where the problems start, especially if your spouse thinks you’re pushing it hard.
In case you’re struggling to calm down, you can try meditation for clearing your mind so you’ll be able to find the right answer and help your child and yourself.
3. Plan your finances
Sending your kid to an exclusive private school costs a lot, and if you’re not earning huge amounts, trying to find financial means can be a source of a lot of stress.
That’s why it’s important to plan ahead and set some money aside that will be used as an initial payment, so your child can be ready to enroll immediately, in case they get accepted.
In case you’re in big financial destitution, you should know that there are places that offer excellent scholarships but your child also needs to meet certain criteria in order to qualify.
Therefore, if you’re planning to focus on getting some help from aside, you should motivate your child to do better at school in order to increase the chances of getting awarded with a scholarship.
4. Focus on after-school activities
Your kid can only do so much in order to get good grades, and even if they do their best and study all day, every day, there will always be a child that’s more dedicated, smarter and more well-adjusted.
It’s a fact of life, and unless you have a little Elon Musk in the making, you need to accept that there are other kids that are also smart and deserving of a good education. But that’s not the reason to get stressed and depressed, because there are ways to make your child stand out.
The key is to focus on after-school activities such as playing sports and nurturing their talents that aren’t directly related to school and studying.
You can always check their success using reliable school management software, but the point is that every child has a talent, the key is to find it and teach your child to be confident and proud of their achievements.
You’ll also be less stressed knowing that your child is learning other things that can help them be successful and well-rounded individuals.
5. Talk to other parents
Many ambitious parents see other parents (and their children) as direct competition and obstacles to their own child’s success. Even though that can be the case to a degree, it’s crucial to know that networking with others can significantly help you feel less anxious.
After all, everything’s better when you have others to lean on. You can talk to other parents and learn some new useful information, while your child can make new friends and learn to be more sociable.
Trying to provide your kid with better education can be very nerve-racking for the whole family, but you should also be aware that your child won’t be happier or more hard-working if you constantly push them to succeed without considering their true abilities and desires.
Always remember to keep the balance and focus on making your child a responsible, self-confident and self-reliant person and results are happy child, happy family, and happy marriage.