Depression is a mental disorder in which an individual tends to have negative feelings that control them and their lives.
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On the other hand, coping with a depressive partner is not easy since their self-esteem and confidence is dropping, they are scared, they don’t trust anyone, and most of all they want to be left alone.
Listed below are different coping strategies to deal with a depressive partner.
1. Listen to them
How to help a spouse with depression? Active listening plays an essential part in helping a spouse with depression.
Listening may seem like an easier task, especially when they are your spouse, but it’s not. It is one of the hardest things to listen to your spouse and address their concerns.
Many times, you may lose patience, but listening to them with an open mind can mend things for them.
If your relationship is new, then you must find ways to help your depressive partner open up about their fear and concerns; some might make you uncomfortable, but if it helps organize their thoughts, then that is okay, but that does not mean that you don’t set limitations for yourself.
For helping a spouse with depression be kind to them, don’t tell them to pull themselves together but choose wise and sweet words, and whenever something disturbs you, remember to stop them or take a break because it is not easy to cope up with a depressed partner and that can be exhausting.
2. Support and love them unconditionally
Depression is not an easy thing to deal with as it destroys your confidence, your self-esteem, and most of all, it pushes you into darkness. Therefore, make sure to support your depressive partner even when they are at their worst.
When living with a depressed spouse, there are happy days, and then there are bad days, on bad days they can push you away harder where they won’t want to talk on what bothers them, and they will continuously demand to be left alone, that is the day you need to sit with them and be there for them.
It is in human nature to count what we don’t have and not look at what we do have, so if they forget about you and the love you have for them, make sure not to be offended.
Try to overlook little things because depression will make them forget, and you will have to remind them again and again.
Also watch: What to do when your spouse is struggling with depression.
Since depression is not a pretty road, there can be a scenario where your depressive partner is not willing to talk to a therapist.
For a depressive partner, it is hard to trust other people, and it is harder to take out all their negative and positive feelings in front of you.
But being their partner, you must assure them and make them understand that professional help can save them, how things between a patient and their doctor are always kept as a secret, and if they don’t share what bothers them, then how will anyone be able to help them.
4. Try to understand what they need
What to do when your partner is depressed? Make a list.
Make a list of what they like and enjoy, from their favorite food to their favorite movie or show, and when they seem to be disturbed, irritated, or annoyed, make sure to ask them what they need. When they answer, make sure to give them whatever they demand.
Giving them what they need can turn their mood around. If your relationship is ten to fifteen years older, there are higher chances of you knowing already what they need. You can skip asking them and show up with their favorite ice-cream to make them feel great about themselves.
5. Create a plan with your partner
On a good day, where your depressive partner seems to be relaxed and in a good mood, sit with them and ask them to make a list with you.
In this list, write all the things they would want to do when they are low, and then when they are low, making sure to remind them of the list that you guys made together.
If they tell you that they are not in the mood and would like to be left alone, try to convince them. If they are not confident, that means that the plan was a failure, and a better idea needs to be made.
This plan will encourage them to take out their negative energy in a positive space.
For example, you can ask them to paint the walls or to go swimming with you on a bad day. These things will not only keep him busy but will keep him distracted from all that bothers him too.
If your partner says something that has hurt you in any way, then you need to talk to them about your feelings without worrying theirs.
There can be feelings of guilt and anger that may be raised by the concerns of your partner; it is okay to involve a third party that will help you see a fresh perspective, and that may be a massive help in saving your mental health.
Depression can throw you into pits of darkness, and it is extra hard if your partner is going through something, but remember that no one should be alone in the war that needs to be fought against depression.
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
This article is written by Anthony. He believes words have the power to influence people and disseminate knowledge artistically. Even though, he writes for no particular niche, his passion for blogging has driven him to take up writing in his leisure time to accompany his studies.