Friendship is an intimate relationship we believe is supposed to offer safety, support, and encouragement in a world that sometimes leaves us weary, isolated, and fearful.
It is in those moments when the winds of life spit in our faces that we turn to a friend to help us weather the storm. We assume that this is an unspoken deal between us?
Friendship is, I honor you and you honor me even in the crappiest of times.
Not always being sunshine and lollipops. It would be fabulous if relationships were that clearly defined and everyone was on the same page, but life itself is a mystery and so are the people who come into our personal space.
The literal definition of relationship is that it is a mutual bond and connection however making no reference to always being sunshine and lollipops.
In addition, universal principles tell us that the only constant in life changes and thus this unpredictability of humanity is part of this adventure called life.
There is zero respect or support for you
Some partnerships grow and thrive. While others take a left turn on Misery Loves Company Street. It is as though your friend has two completely different personalities.
At first, they fluctuate running hot and cold cunningly slipping backhanded, out of the blue, remarks. The shooting negative vibes cut to the quick and shock the core leaving us drunk and dizzy in confusion.
As a loyal buddy, you give the benefit of the doubt until the random assaults become regular. It is obvious you have become the target of blaring, rude, energy screaming power matches.
This relationship has dove into the dark waters of a toxic relationship and you are a target of jealousy, gossip, drama, passive aggression, arguing criticism, and contempt.
There’s an eventual wearing down and you arrive at a place where you see that there’s no point hope of reconciliation. There is only dread and drama when you are near them.
The definition of toxic relates to relationships that act in a poisonous nature causing harm and you are a participant of emotional abuse that leaves you drained, depressed, and angry.
You feel that all is lost. The habitual slicing and dicing of your self-worth have left you like a knotted pretzel long enough and you realize it is time to say goodbye.
It’s time to focus on yourself
It’s difficult to break up with someone who knows you inside and out and has been there for what felt like lifetimes.
It is a death of sorts and grieving is sometimes all that can be done as we stop texting, meeting for lunch to share our victories, and asking them for advice.
What is next?
After a time of mourning when the tears have dried and the tummy stops flip-flopping, which it will, there are two vital questions worth asking. The first is What attracted me to this person? And the second is, What is the lesson this opportunity offered me?
Growing pains are part of the process
There is a purpose to each and everything that happens in life and so was this friendship.
There are no coincidences, only spiritual moments of awakening and awareness. You are loved by the universe and the divinity believes in you. Perhaps it was the lesson of forgiveness. Perhaps this friendship presented itself a challenge for you to respect yourself more. Make it your mission to find the lesson and master it so it doesn’t pop up again in another situation.
The divinity loves you and desires the best for you. Lessons are one way that you are given the opportunity to grow and become your best self. Growing pains are part of the process.
Toxic relationships? Foe or Friend? Maybe both!