Relationship is to love and appreciate each other and not oneself.
However, there are people who are so much in love with themselves that they end up neglecting, or in the worst case scenario, insulting people around them. To be with such a person brings agony and pain, and nothing else.
What to do when you’re actually in love with a narcissist?
Loving a narcissist is never a calculated move.
You can’t decide to fall in love with a particular person, instead it just happens. What if you are in love with a narcissist? Loving a narcissist can turn your life upside down and can be a very challenging job, emotionally and mentally.
Here are some ways to keep your confidence uptight without giving up on your love for a person who turned out to be a narcissist.
1. Listen to your inner self
There will be time when your confidence will be shaken up by your narcissist partner.
This would be unintentional, but it might leave a heavy dent in your confidence. Don’t let their negative words come in between you and your love. You need to understand that you both are deeply in love with each other and it is a part of their self.
It won’t be only your partner, occasionally, but people around you who might force you to rethink your decision.
Everyone will share their perspective towards your relationship with your partner and might persuade you to walk out of it. Remember, if your partner and you are truly in love, than keep aside what others have to say.
They’re not in your place.
Listen to their talks as their concern and focus on things more important to strengthen your relationship with your partner.
2. Stop proving how you’re a good person
When loving a narcissist you must learn to detach yourself in order to have an effective communication.
Since communication is the key element in any relationship, there will be chances that you both will have difference of opinion or argument. In such situations it’s a human nature to put forth a point and try to prove it. If you’re going to do it the normal way, you would end up hurting yourself.
The best way to tackle this when loving a narcissist is to detach oneself from the situation and end the conversation before it turns bad shape.
Your narcissist partner will never let you win the argument. Struggling to prove the point will make no sense.
Hence, just back out and end the conversation. Decide your priority, your relationship or the argument.
3. Do a self-analysis
Why are you with a narcissist partner?
Is it the love or just the special attention you get by being with them? Sometimes we fail to realize the actual reason of being with a person. The few minutes of fame and attention make us take wrong decision that we regret later.
It is suggested to do a self-analysis of why are you with your partner. Are you truly in love with them or simply enjoy the fame and attention you get by being with them? Once you’ve done with the self-analysis you will get the answer if it is worth pursuing or not.
4. Realize your strength and take control
People who have inflated sense of self-importance often try to manipulate others for their advantage. They treat others underneath them and feed on other’s weaknesses and vulnerability.
It requires strength to overpower them without damaging their self-pride and co-exist in the ecosystem with them.
The key to this success is to realizing your strength and complete control of it. Don’t let them manipulate you.
Know your strengths and have complete faith on them. Letting them know about your vulnerability is like surrendering yourself to them. Don’t let them feed on you.
5. Be realistic and don’t have high hopes
When loving a narcissist, it is natural to go start dreaming some unrealistic circumstances and expect partner to fulfil them. While other couples may successful enjoy this phase, when loving a narcissist, it is suggested to keep such unrealistic thoughts aside.
As you get into a relationship with a narcissist partner, you must leave those unrealistic dreams behind and should get a little realistic. Every relationship is different and you must not compare yours with your friends’.
Embark on your own journey being realistic and cherish every moment.
6. Learn mindfulness
Learning mindfulness is important irrespective of your relationship with an individual.
It is always better to know when you’re losing your temper or would be bursting out in anger. The better you know yourself, the better you would be able to control yourself. Hence, introduce mindfulness in your relationship.
Both, you and your partner, should learn it and should introspect yourself in a better way.
You should be able to understand any behavioral change that can damage the relationship and move aside from it. It won’t happen overnight and would need your regular practice. Initially loving a narcissist may be tough, but you should continue being mindful if you are looking for a healthy and long lasting relationship.