Last year, consumer analysts estimated that over $18 billion dollars would be spent on Valentine’s Day. That’s a lot of dough.
What were people spending the most money on? Flowers, jewelry, clothes, candy, cards, and maybe a dinner date?
In couples counseling, I often think about what it means for couples to celebrate Valentine’s Day, especially when couples around the country are spending over $18 billion in one day.
It seems only logical to extend the same kindness, love, and generosity towards your spouse, not just on Valentine’s Day but every day of the year.
How do you celebrate Valentine’s Day every day?
When a couple comes in for marriage counseling they might lament on how the “spark” has faded to a mere flicker.
They comment on how neither of them engages in activities they once did when they first started dating, like spending quality time together, going on dates, or doing other small romantic gestures.
I have a call to action for those couples who want to celebrate Valentine’s Day more than just one day a year with their partner or spouse.
Answer these following questions:
1. How am I communicating with my partner?
Communication is key in any relationship and it’s often where couples struggle the most!
We don’t realize that when we communicate from a place of criticism, defensiveness, contempt or stonewalling, we can be on the track for divorce or breakup.
Initiate positive communication with an “I feel” statement or expressing a need, want, longing or desire.
2. Do I put my partner first?
Relationships are work and there is a ton more “work” like children, family, and social responsibilities. It’s easy to get caught up in everything but your partner.
Don’t let that happen!
Take time every day to let your partner know you’re putting them first. If you’re struggling with how to start, ask yourself, “how do I know when I put my partner first?”
3. What have I done lately to make my partner feel important and special?
Staying attuned and connected to your partner and their needs will do wonders for your relationship. Like anything we want to improve at or strengthen, consistency is key. Nurture the friendship in your relationship and incorporate fun into your routine.
Want to have a happier, healthier marriage?
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
More by Katie Lemieux