Falling in love is fairly easy; people do it all the time. But, what about staying in love? That’s not so simple (just look at the divorce rate!)
So, are you looking for tips for a healthy relationship? Is there a secret formula for couples who are madly in love?
There are many healthy relationshiphabitshappy couples do that keep them thriving. Let’s look at the healthy habits of couples that hold them happily together.
The number one tip that happy couples cite to stay in love is good communication. Lack of communication leads to a breakdown in intimacy, and without intimacy, you may as well be roommates.
Most important relationship advice for couples – make it a point to listen to each other but do so in a dedicated way.
Put down your phones, turn off the computer, turn towards each other and look at each other as you speak. Show your partner you have heard him by repeating back to him something he’s just said, or merely nodding as you listen.
Strive for positive interactions. Studieshave shown that negative interactions negatively correlated with numerous measures of relationship quality and positively with the likelihood of divorce.
2. Say I love you
Happy couples express their love for each other.
So, how to keep a healthy relationship just by saying ‘I love you’?
Start your day with an I love you and end it the same way. Don’t be afraid to overuse this phrase! This is one of the daily habits of happy couples.
What do couples do in a relationship? They say “I love you” and show their words mean something. Love is also in your acts. But everyone loves to hear they are loved, so say it often, but with all your heart.
3. Have your special rituals together
Happy couples who are crazy in love with each other have the unique rituals they follow day after day.
It may be drinking their coffee in their “special mug” or crafting outrageous costumes for their yearly pilgrimage to Burning Man. Whatever it is, it is unique to them and draws them together a couple of times each day.
4. Don’t tease if you know it hurts them
Some people think that joking about something their partner is sensitive to is no big deal. One bald husband tells us he hates when his wife teases him about his lack of hair.
“She thinks she’s funny when she calls me a cue ball, but it hurts my feelings,” he says.
Happy couples who are madly in love treat each other with kindness, not sarcasm.
Long-term couples who remain in love get there because they practice large doses of forgiveness. They know that things will not always go smoothly in life and that sometimes feelings will be hurt, unintentionally or not.
That’s where forgiveness comes into play. Happy couples do not hold on to grudges or bring up past ills when fighting.
When needed, happy couples forgive and move on, genuinely absolving their partner of whatever wrong they did, and, at the same time, renewing their love for each other.
6. Let go of the need to be right
Another secret to staying in love is knowing how to compromise. If one of the spouses has a constant need to be right, if that is their goal when working out an issue with their spouse, the relationship risks breaking.
Compromise is not only for nation-building. Happy couples learn the art of re-examining conflicts and seeking a resolution that is acceptable to both people.
Learn the art of compromise, and you’ll be on your way to a lasting, loving relationship.
7. Don’t lose yourself in your couple
Do you know what all couples who stay in love have in common? Each party continues to have their hobbies, interests, and passions.
Sure, the happy couples also did fun things together. But neither partner gave up who they were when they entered into the relationship.
They didn’t forsake their true self to be with the other. On the contrary, the pursuit of their interests made the relationship richer. This is one of the good relationship habits happy couples practice.
8. Prioritize your partner
To keep love vibrant, happy couples never forget that their partner is a priority in their life.
This means traveling to see each other if, for professional reasons, one of you is temporarily transferred, or keeping dinner warm if work delays them one night.
It means making sure they know you see, hear, and love them and never take them for granted.
9. Be each other’s support system
This means cheering your partner on and believing in them as they aspire to hit their goals.
There is no sabotage, no room for jealousy, or spirit of competition in a loving, long-term relationship. You are there for each other for better or for worse.
If you neglect to support your partner in their dreams, be aware that someone else is happy to do so, and you risk losing them to that person.
10. Show affection and appreciation every day
No one enjoys being taken for granted. Showing affection and appreciation needn’t require weeks of planning or a reminder in your calendar. Aim for consistency, not magnitude.
Show you care every day, even if those are tiny gestures.
A tiny meaningful gesture of a carefully chosen gift such as a favorite childhood book can be worth as much as a weekend in Paris.
11. Talk about the future
The best way to know you both want the same things is to talk about the future. This way, not only are you moving in the same direction, but you are also fortifying the bonds that tie you together.
Yes, this is what happy couples do!
When there is a disagreement about a goal, talk about that too, and find a compromise. Studieshave suggested that the likelihood of the relationship depends on the current satisfaction as well as the expected future satisfaction.
12. Check for understanding
It is easy to jump to conclusions on what your partner may be feeling or thinking, but often those conclusions can be wrong. Incorrect conclusions lead to miscommunication, misunderstandings, and feuds.
Misunderstandings are especially frequent in the head of an argument, where it is easy to assume and difficult to ask.
Successful couples are resolving to ask, when not sure. Try it, and you may be surprised how much your assumption was far from what your partner is feeling.
13. Control angry reactions
Anger is an energizing emotion designed to defend a person but can have a destructive effect on the relationship when not kept in check. It is easy to let everything out in the heat of the argument.
The great masters of partnership know they should keep their mouth shut and take a pause when they know they will regret what comes out of their mouth.
Happy couples have mastered communicating more constructively all the information that would come out angrily. If you are struggling with controlling anger, therapy can help resolve those issues.
14. Show love to the world
Couples happy with their relationship are not afraid to show their feelings publicly.
We are not talking about making out in front of your parents, but holding hands while walking outside, snuggling while sitting on the bench will bring you closer and make you feel more connected.
For some happy couples, this type of public display of affection demonstrates their commitment and fortifies their choice of one another.
15. Appreciate their close ones
Being friendly to people who are very close and important to your partner can mean the world to them. Find a way to show you care about the people they care about.
If you can not spend time with every one of their friends, choose the ones you like to spend time with to show you are willing to come halfway.
Watch the video given below that shows ten things that happy couples do at times.
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
Sylvia Smith loves to share insights on how couples can revitalize their love lives in and out of the bedroom. As a writer at Marriage.com, she is a big believer in living consciously and encourages couples to adopt this principle in their lives too. Sylvia believes that every couple can transform their relationship into a happier, healthier one by taking purposeful and wholehearted action.