When you fell in love everything seemed perfect between you and your partner. You made promises to each other that you thought you were going to keep forever.
Then one day you realized the magic was gone, your partner no longer looked at you the way they once did. They lost the interest in talking to you, spending time with you and instead, they were managing you.
You saw them smiling at their phones too often, making frequent rounds to the balcony. And then it hit you, they were probably cheating on you.
You tried to push the thought away but you couldn’t. One day you couldn’t resist the urge to pick up their phone and go through their chats. It was right there, their romantic conversations with another person.
They cheated, lied and manipulated you for who knows how long? They may have said it was only a year, but they have proven themselves a liar, so can you even believe them? Plus, “only” a year!
Let’s think about this for a moment, to be able to pull off an affair for any length of time, your partner must lie and manipulate you in order to pull off the adultery, right? They have to twist the truth and outright lie to be somewhere they shouldn’t be.
They have to lie and play with your head if they go out of town for the weekend or come home late after work. I would put their words in the “not to be trusted” category right now.
The grief that follows after being cheated on
This leaves us in a fog about our own existence. What is real? What is fake? That time he didn’t make it to my doctor’s appointment, was he banging her? When he was late to my mother’s funeral, was he with her? Questions about our past touture us over and over. Escape can feel impossible because even our dreams like to take part in the terrorizing.
Contemplating seeking revenge on your partner
It is understandable that most of us go through a really pissed off phase, that’s okay and very normal. Thoughts and fantasies of how to get revenge on a guy who used you dances through your head.
We want to make them hurt as badly as we hurt. We look for ideas on ‘how to get revenge on someone who hurt you’. We want them to understand the pain, even for a minute. Sometimes, we feel like they would change, feel true remorse and come crawling back if they could understand the depths of despair they caused.
In my darkest thoughts of wanting revenge I played with the idea of telling my husband that his daughters were not his, but his brother’s. While this in no way was true, and my relationship with my brother-in-law was always completely appropriate, it was a lie I thought would hurt him, even for a few minutes. I never acted on this fantasy, but it was there. Don’t let such serious revenge ideas damage your life and family further.
The best revenge after they cheat
At After the Affair, we get many emails about this need for revenge. A need to satisfy the intense anger we feel. Most people suggest that they want to sleep with their partner’s best friend, turn the kids against them, take everything from them in court… While all this may feel good to you in the moment of your anger, I’d like to let you in on a little secret. The best way to get revenge on your Cheating Boyfriend is to be you, the happiest, healthiest, most kind, successful version of yourself. I kid you not.
You see you are still the same amazing person you were before you discovered the affair. Sleeping with the friend, hurts and uses the friend. You don’t wanna go to that level. You kids are half that parent, speaking poorly about them hurts your kids, that’s not going to work.
What is the best revenge against a cheating husband?
You, the amazing person they once fell in love with, you and your unwillingness to break. You and your smile will be a terrible revenge for them and the greatest gift to yourself.
You can get to know and like yourself again. You can learn to mourn and move through the pain instead of trying to skip over the pain. You will see a strength in you, you didn’t know you had. You will look back at this time in your life and feel proud, not anger, pride in who you’ve become and what your future holds. This is the best way on how to get revenge on a guy who played you.