Why do men cheat and lie? It isn’t that women can’t cheat in a relationship, but the reasons why men and women do it can differ. A reason could be that a man’s brain functions differently than a woman’s.
The questions still remain – why do men lie and cheat? And why do married men have affairs?
Is it just for sex?
It is not about sex every time. The reasons why people cheat vary depending upon the circumstances.
This article sheds some light on the five reasons why men cheat and lie. The list also covers the reasons why married men cheat and what married men want from affairs.
Reason # 1: Men cheat because they are emotionally dissatisfied
Most women think that cheating, for men, is all about sex. But that, in fact, is far from the truth.
In most cases, an emotional void is the primary cause of cheating in a relationship. Sex is not even a concern for the men in such cases.
Remember that men are emotionally-driven beings too. They feel the need to be appreciated and deeply desire that their women understand how hard they try to get things done.
Since they may not end up voicing their feelings every time, their partner may think that they don’t need affirmation.
What you can do: Create a culture of appreciation and thoughtfulness, and make him feel valued. Focus on making your relationship more loving and connected.
It is not a rule that it is only a man’s job to woo and pamper. Their partners can also take charge and try to do little things to make their partners feel loved. Even small gestures or gifts on no particular occasion can do wonders.
Reason #2: Men cheat because they have friends who’ve cheated
Spending time in the company of friends who’ve cheated in the past makes it look like it’s a normal thing for a guy to do. It legitimates infidelity as an acceptable possibility.
It’s not okay to tell a partner to stop seeing certain friends. But bear in mind that it is easy for people to get influenced.
Even if you think your man happens to be someone with good values, his friends’ actions are likely to create an impression on him.
What can you do: Encourage your husband or boyfriend to build a circle around close friends who have the same strong values as you about marriage.
Also, you could host a lunch or a party intermittently for this set of friends, so that your husband or boyfriend gets into a habit of spending more time with the people having a positive and healthy mindset.
Reason #3: Men cheat because their libido needs a boost
You know how it is at the beginning of a relationship. You both can’t get enough of each other. In time, however, things change, and you both start to feel comfortable.
But the spark may be lost, and some men may start to crave that same newness again. This is one of the top reasons why husbands cheat.
You can try new things in the bedroom and even talk to your partner explicitly about what he likes. Also, try to encourage spontaneity from time to time.
Reason #4: Men cheat to get back at their partners
Some men may cheat to take a revenge on their cheating partner – by having multiple relationships themselves. As convoluted as it may be, this is mostly done by those men who do not or cannot forgive their partner– yet still want to stay in the marriage.
What you can do: If there is a history of cheating between the two of you, the mature way of handling it is to discuss the problems at hand and come to a solution you both can stick with.
If either spouse turns to such tactics to hurt the other, then clearly, professional help is needed to heal the relationship. Seek counseling, but if that does not help and the cheating continues, then you may seriously want to consider a separation.
Reason #5: Men cheat to get out of their marriages
Sometimes, men who have affairs, willfully commit immoral acts to use it as a means to get out of their marriages. After all, the law also considers adultery as a legitimate reason for a woman to seek a divorce.
Such men cheat openly, and for them, their relationship with their partner is already over. Cheating is just a means to fulfill an end.
What you can do: You can try talking to your husband about it. But, if the act is willfully done, there isn’t much that you can do about it.
In this case, end the marriage. Accept that the relationship is over and move on.
Some people say men cheat because they can. But that’s just a generalized and biased thing to say. By and large, infidelity is remarkably easy to hide as well.
But do they want to? Would any guy, who wants to be in a loving, committed relationship, do this? The truth is he can – if he feels that there’s a void, especially an emotional one, in the relationship.
Now that you know the various reasons why men cheat and lie, you must make an honest effort to take care of the critical aspects to save your marriage. Of course, you can do nothing if it is done deliberately by your husband to get rid of you or hurt you.
But in other cases, when you know that your husband is a great person, try to cultivate a deeper bond, friendship, and love. No man in his right mind would want to ruin a relationship that offers him all this and more.
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
Sylvia Smith loves to share insights on how couples can revitalize their love lives in and out of the bedroom. As a writer at Marriage.com, she is a big believer in living consciously and encourages couples to adopt this principle in their lives too. Sylvia believes that every couple can transform their relationship into a happier, healthier one by taking purposeful and wholehearted action.