The Benefits of Saying I’m Sorry in a Marriage

The benefits of saying I’m sorry in a marriage

In your marriage, there are always going to be misunderstandings and conflicts, and you will find yourself having to say “I’m sorry,” or having someone say it to you. In today’s culture, apologizing is undervalued and underused. If you think about anytime someone told you they were sorry, it probably didn’t make the offense any less offensive. However, it was a step in the right direction.


Even though an apology is not a cure-all, it does show that the person at least saw the need to say I’m sorry, realizing they did something wrong. The problem is that most individuals don’t know how to apologize correctly. If you are wondering when or why you would need to say I’m sorry, take a look at the tips below.


There are a few advantages to saying I’m sorry, such as:


  • It shows you are mature enough to accept responsibility for what you did wrong
  • It repairs any damage your offense might have caused
  • It brings about a sense of relief, removing any unwanted tension

The right time

The right time to say I’m sorry is when you know that you have done anything to hurt someone else, regardless if it is intentional or unintentional. The truth is you did and you need to take responsibility for what you did. When you apologize to someone who you care about, it lets them know their feelings and happiness are important to you. Moreover, it creates a relationship that is based on trust and security, opening the lines of communication. One way to avoid further incidents is to form boundaries on what is acceptable to do or say and what is not.

The wrong reason

If you are apologizing just so the other person will stop talking about what you did wrong, you are making a bad situation worse. One of the worse things you can do is put the blame back on the other person by saying, “Well, I’m sorry if you feel this way…” On this same line, a mistake that most people make when apologizing is telling someone, “It will never happen again.” If it does happen again, you will come off as a person whose words can’t be trusted.


The main problem most people have with saying I’m sorry is that they don’t want to acknowledge they did anything wrong. Some folks see apologizing as taking responsibility for the whole disagreement instead of their specific role in it. Also, a lot of people simply don’t like to admit when they’ve made a mistake.

Malyka Cardwell
Couple & Family Therapist, MFT
Malyka Cardwell is a Couple and Family Therapist at Philadelphia MFT. She is skilled in working with individuals and couples focusing on areas such as sexual abuse, infidelity, intimacy building, anxiety, friendship counseling and issues pertaining to adolescents.

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