It’s quite a nightmare to imagine the existence of abusive parents. However, there are few parents living amongst us who are unapologetically abusive. As a third person, it is easy to judge them and question their actions, but it is essential that we understand are they doing what they’re not supposed to do.
We must ask ‘Why do parents abuse their children?’ before we start judging them.
Every individual has a story. There is surely a reason for them to behave like this. It could be unseen pressure they feel or the outcome of their abusive childhood. Let’s understand why some parents go to this extent.
1. Abusive childhood
If a parent has faced ill-treatment from their parent then there are chances they would repeat the same thing with their children.
They’ve observed their family model and believe that kids are to be treated the same way they were treated. Also, when a child grows in a strict disciplined environment, they do turn out to be violent as well. The solution to this could be parental classes and therapy that will fill the gaps and will help them become a good parent.
Sometimes, parents abuse their child, because they want to position themselves as a different person in front of their kids.
They want them to fear them and desire to keep them in control. This again could be the result of their own childhood or they want to be the best parent who knows how to control their kids.
In reality, they end up losing the trust of their kids who grew up hating them for their abusive behavior.
3. High-end expectations
Being a parent is not an easy task.
Kids are like saplings that need constant care and affection. Some parents underestimate it and realize that it is too much to handle. These unrealistic expectations make them lose their mind and their children receive the wrath. Unrealistic expectations are also responsible for parents abusing their children.
They are just trying to keep everything under control but end up becoming an abusive parent frustrated of their kids and their constant demands.
4. Peer pressure
Every parent wants to be the best parent.
When they’re in a social gathering they want their kids to behave properly and listen to them. However, kids are kids.They might not listen to their parents all the time.
Some parents ignore this while others take it on their ego. They believe their reputation is at stake. So, they turn abusive so that their kids can listen to them, which eventually will keep their social reputation uptight and will keep them happy.
5. History of violence
The abusive nature starts before the baby is born.
If either of the parents is addicted to alcohol or drug, then the kid is born in an abusive environment. They’re not in their senses to comprehend the situation. They’re not aware how the kid is supposed to be treated. This is where they believe being abusive is totally fine and consider that as a normal scenario.
6. No support from extended family
Being a parent is difficult.
It’s a 24/7 job and often frustrate parents due to lack of sleep or personal time. This is where they expect their extended family to step in and help them. Since, they’ve gone through this phase they can be a better guide on how to handle situations.
However, this is not the case mostly.
Some parents receive less to no help from their family.
With no help, no sleep and no personal time, the frustration level increases and they lose their temper on their kids.
It is always advised to ask for help whenever needed.
7. Emotional disorder
Anyone can have a mental problem.
While they’ve the right to live a life peacefully, things may change when they step into parent’s position. Since they’re suffering from mental disorder it will be quite difficult for them to manage their daily life.
In addition to this, having a baby means added responsibility. When people with mental disorder become parent they find it hard to strike a balance between their need and their kid’s needs. This, eventually, turns into abusive behavior.
8. Kids with special needs
Why do parents abuse their children? This could be another important answer to the question. Kids, in general, need special attention and care.
Imagine parents with special kids. Special kids need double the attention and care. Parents do try to hold on to things and do the best they could but at times they lose their patience and turn abusive.
It’s not easy to be a parent of the special kid. You’ve to care for them and also prepare them for their future. Parents are worried about their future and the ongoing treatment or therapy.
Nothing can happen without money.
At every stage you need it. The childcare in some countries isn’t economical. If parents are struggling to meet their ends, children can double their worry. Under such situation, parents do work to provide their best but when the frustrations pile up, they abuse their children.
Being judgmental and question others actions is pretty easy but we must to understand why do parents abuse their children.
The aforementioned pointers speak of some of the common problems and issues parents have which often make them turn abusive towards their kids. All they need is a little help and some support.