Why Is Divorce So Painful? How Can It Become Easier?
Divorce is a tough experience that anyone has to go through in their life. Often people ask when the couple together decides to part ways then why divorce is so painful? The article brings to light top 4 reasons for why is divorce so painful along with ways to make it easy on yourself
Almost 50% of all marriages end in divorce which means almost half the couples that get married eventually end up at the stage where they wish to get divorced and part ways from each other.
Despite this, divorce is still a quite tough experience that anyone has to go through in their life. Often people ask when the couple together decides to part ways then why divorce is so painful?
This is because of a number of reasons.
Not only are you losing the one you once loved so much but all your hopes and plans go to vain. You are back to square one, single and wondering what to do next.
Mentioned down below are the top 4 reasons for why is divorce so painful along with ways to make it easy on yourself
1. You suffer a huge loss
A divorce puts your life on a complete 360.
You are a new person with a new identity and relationship status. Not only this you just lost the person who was once so dear to you. You’re suddenly in a new place, surrounded with the memories from the past, reminiscing of the happy times you spent with your ex-spouse.
2. You feel like you’ve failed
The thought of a broken marriage will keep on reminding you that you lost.
You begin to feel as if you failed for not be able to keep your marriage together or as if you just didn’t do your best to keep it intact. You begin to isolate yourself from others out of fear of being questioned and ridiculed and get paranoid at the thought of any future relationship.
3. Your family is broken up
The feeling of a broken family is further heightened if you have children.
You suddenly feel that you are the one to blame for taking away ‘the family experience’ from your children and letting them get exposed to the effects of your divorce.
No matter how hard you try to make things good for your children, you will always feel like they’re missing out and you will continue to drown in guilt and embarrassment.
4. You lose all your plans for the future
Prior to the divorce, all your future plans and goals had your spouse involved.
But with them suddenly out of the picture, you find all your dreams coming crashing down. You are now on your own and have to figure out a future for yourself that does not carry your ex.
How can it become easier?
1. Acceptance
Accepting the bitter truth that your marriage has failed is vital for you to get over the depression eventually.
It may be hard and overwhelming, but once you accept it, you will eventually see why this divorce had to be done for the betterment of the entire family.
2. Take care of yourself
You will be full of grief and regrets, wondering why did this happen to you. Although feeling this way is completely normal, it is important that you take care of yourself. Eat healthily and exercise regularly.
Be easy on yourself and do not pressure yourself or blame yourself because you are not the entirely responsible for this divorce.
Asking for help is fine.
Sometimes we all need someone we can vent to and get rid of all that frustration. Surround yourself with family and friends that you know will always hear you out. You can even join a support group to be around people who are going through a similar phase as you.
Share your feelings and do not let them eat you from the inside as this will only damage you.
4. Gather new experiences and find new interests
You have a newfound freedom to make use of it.
Go do what you’ve always wanted to but held it back all this time because your partner didn’t want you to. There is no one stopping you now!
Go on an adventurous trip or find new passions, it could be anything such as cooking, learning to play the guitar, just do what makes you happy.
Divorce is hard for everyone, but it all depends on the individual to get affected by it to what extent. Change is gradual but bound to come, do not let go of yourself during this time. Accept that you are responsible for your happiness and you will eventually get it, even after a divorce.
Want to have a happier, healthier marriage?
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
Sylvia Smith loves to share insights on how couples can revitalize their love lives in and out of the bedroom. As a writer at Marriage.com, she is a big believer in living consciously and encourages couples to adopt this principle in their lives too. By taking purposeful and a whole-hearted action, Sylvia feels that every couple can transform their relationship into a happier, healthier one.
