“The divorce is final. The marriage is over. You’ve probably moved on emotionally several weeks or months ago but there’s still a lot of stuff in the physical world that reminds you of your former partner.
Marriage is over. So what do you do with your engagement ring? Wedding ring after divorce? Sell it? Bring it to a pawnshop? Throw it into a river?
And how about photo albums, whether they’re online, in the iCloud, or in a physical album. Do we hold onto them? Are we so angry at our former partner that we just throw them all away?
And what about gifts that you might have received from your partner over the years? Maybe certain clothing? Lingerie? Men’s athletic wear?
Did your former party partner buy you an expensive fishing pole? Don’t laugh, I had a client that recently threw an extremely fishing out of the boat into the water never to be found again, because of their anger after the divorce that had not been minimized at all.
Here are a few thoughts on what to do with wedding ring after divorce alongside other things, some people might say thoughts of common sense, to help you decide what to do with the material stuff from the marriage after the marriage is over:
1. Opt for selling it
When we talk about jewelry, wedding rings, engagement rings and more, many of my clients have opted to sell their jewelry or to give it to friends, family members if they want it at all.
The idea of wearing a wedding ring, or an engagement ring, or some other expensive piece of jewelry after the marriage is over feels very strange for many of my clients.
They would rather absolutely throw it away, versus continue to wear it on their fingers or around their necks.
After divorce, some of my female clients have taken the diamond out of their engagement ring and made it into a necklace.
Some of my male clients have taken the wedding rings and had them melted down and remade into a different type of ring.
But here’s the most important thing to consider: what is the energy that you feel around the jewelry? Is it positive? Is it negative?
For most of us, especially after the first three or four months post divorce, there’s a negative energy hanging around the jewelry that we don’t want to have anything to do with.
So what I normally recommend, and this is pretty common for all materialistic things after divorce, isunless you’re 100% absolutely sure that you want nothing to do with the ring or the jewelry, I recommend that we box everything up and put it away for a year.
Get an inexpensive storage unit, if it’s really expensive jewelry you may want to put it in the vault at your bank, but box everything up and put it away for a year.
At the end of the year, see how you feel about any materialistic possessions whatsoever.
2. Photos, photo albums and more
This can be tricky especially if there’s children.
One of my clients who recently divorced, with three children, decided to leave the photos of family trips and vacations in the house on the walls instead of taking them down and cutting her husband‘s face out of everyone which she had initially said she wanted to do.
She took all the photos down that were just of her and her former husband, but she left every other photo, from their 20 years of trips during the marriage, around the house.
Her girlfriends asked her if that would turn off a potential new partner, and she had a great answer for that.
“If I feel comfortable enough having pictures of my former husband around, because there are children in the pictures, I would hope any man I would date would understand that and simply accept it.“
I think her thinking is correct, but there will be some men that will object to that type of posturing, of having her former husband’s photo in many rooms throughout the house.
As we continued talking about it during our sessions, she came to the conclusion that right now she’s going to leave the photos up, but if she met someone who was incredibly special, and they had asked for her to take some of the photos down that she could be convinced to not leave everything up and she was all right with that.
I would definitely recommend working with a therapist, counselor, minister or Life Coach when it comes to some of these difficult decisions about what to do with material possessions at the end of a marriage.
I believe a lot of it is just going to come down to how you personally feel about the energy that is emanating off of the artwork or the jewelry or the photos.
Some people just keep on living with everything the way it is. It doesn’t bother them at all.
Other people? Throw out their mattress and get a brand new mattress, repaint every room in the house. In other words, they don’t want one thing to remind them of their former partner.
Whatever works for you, is the best way to go for now.
Pay attention to your internal feelings when you’re making these decisions, versus comments from friends or family.
And, and getting the help of a professional, who is unbiased, you may be actually making the smartest move ever to get an outside opinion first, before you do something you might resent down the road.
David Essel‘s work is highly endorsed by individuals like the late Wayne Dyer, and celebrity Jenny Mccarthy says “David Essel is the new leader of the positive thinking movement.“
Marriage.com has verified David as one of the top counselors and relationship experts in the world.
You can work with David one on one from anywhere in the world via phone and Skype, sign up right now for his “30 minute jumpstart counseling session“, and he can get an idea of the type of challenges that you’re going through in your life right now, and in a short 30 minutes give you some simple tips to help you start moving in the right direction at www.davidessel.com
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
David Essel, M.S. is the best selling author of 9 books, a counselor and master life coach and inspirational speaker whose work is endorsed by celebrities like Jenny McCarthy, Wayne Dyer, Kenny Loggins and Mark Victor Hansen. David accepts new clients monthly via Skype and phone sessions from anywhere.