It takes time to get over the pain that a breakup causes. For divorced introverts, it almost feels like the end of the world when your love steps out that door never to return again. One funny thing about breakup is that it dramatically alters your day-to-day life, even if your relationship wasn’t the best. In short, it’s one of the most traumatic events in our lives; one that can easily drive you into a tailspin. Even though being dumped really sucks, it’s often wise to take some time off and think about healthy coping up after a breakup. Each personality tends to deal with it a little bit different. For introverts out there, we’ve got eight expert advises that will see you through that tormenting sting of a breakup. Take out some time to read through, adopt and make them more like a part of your lifestyle.
1. Go over and over again the events that led to the split
Believe it or not, introverts are masters of mental replay. As such, they tend to go over their past actions and the decisions made years ago in the course of the relationship. And as Laurie Helgoe (psychologist and author of Introvert Power: Why Your Inner Life Is Your Hidden Strength) puts it, introverts have the willingness to honestly reflect on their past events, such as a breakup. This willingness of self-reflection proves to be a great asset following a breakup. Though it might give you a hard time moving on at first, self-reflection makes your path clear to the next relationship. And in case the mental replay turns out to be exhaustive, then it’s time that you give your head some rest.
2. Take some time alone
Seclusion might drive people to thinking that you’re antisocial, depressed or downright mad. Well, don’t be too concerned about what they think since it truly pays to have some time alone after a breakup. Best described as heartbreak hibernation, this is a time that divorced introverts can thrive on. One of the main purpose of heartbreak hibernation is that it gives you plenty of time and room to regroup following a divorce. In order to make the most out of heartbreak hibernation, it’s recommended that you opt for silent meditation retreat. With it, you’ll get ample time to ponder about your loss and the change in your life’s Trajectory.
3. Don’t rush into hooking up following a split
Most of us tend to rush into other relationships after a split. As consoling as it might sound, the search for a rebound following a divorce might not be a good idea. Don’t rush into giving your heart to just anyone. Instead, it’s best to use this time to meditate and find that right partner. In short, you need to be selective with regard to your relationship. You need someone you’ll feel more comfortable around. Though it might take quite a while to find that right person, it’s definitely worth the wait. You can have a pet to keep you company as you wait.
4. Don’t get totally drained by the divorce process
A divorce procedure is not a petty thing that will take some few days to see it through. Rather, it’s a lengthy and exhaustive process that might kill a little part of them inside. This is a time when you’re forced to consult with your lawyers, family members, mediators and your ex. To avoid being totally drained by the whole process, it’s recommended that you monitor your energy flow and take some breaks from the divorce process.
5. Don’t pour out your heart to anyone
As an introvert, you tend to have a heart that’s placed in that deep, dark and cavernous place. Though family and friends are the next big things in your life it’s often good to keep some of the things to yourself. Only choose to pour out your heart to someone you really trust. Alternatively, you can choose to communicate your feelings to friends and family via email or journals. And as they say, writing is a sweet spot for divorced introverts who want to communicate something across.
6. You need your friends to reach out
Introverts are not the best when it comes to making and keeping friends. Introverts tend to be more selective about the friends they keep. As such, they have a difficult time maintaining close social ties. But as a divorced introvert, this is the time that you need to improve on your social ties. Push yourself into connecting with friends and family who’ll drag you out and remind you of the possibilities in life.
Also watch: 7 Most Common Reasons for Divorce
7. Forgot about cell phone or social media for a while
Following a breakup, you’re more inclined to send that hurtful text to your ex. This might be due to anger or just wanting to hit your ex where it hurts most. But as an introvert, you need to keep yourself occupied with other things. Have that tendency to over-analyze the situation, something that will make you less inclined to send that impulsive text. Leave that to extroverts out there!
8. Try to adapt to less money, less stability and less time with your kids
This might sound quite a tricky and difficult thing for introverts out there. However, this is the best time that you consider cutting down your expenses and instead live for a few dollars a day. You should also consider cutting back on the time you spend with your kids. But don’t cut it too much since you still need to maintain that social bond between you and your kids. Just a little bit will do. These are things that will give you a high chance of forgetting your past experiences. They will go a long way in helping you pull through the whole trauma.
Handling breakup pain takes time, patience and therapy to recover from the whole thing. It’s the worst painful emotion divorced introverts experience and it is nearly impossible to ignore it. By accomplishing the above mentioned tips each day, you’ll have a greater chance to mend your broken heart. These tips will make each day a little better. However, you need to know that the changes won’t happen fast.
Healing of a broken heart is a slow process that takes time. Take heart and you’ll soon get over it and probably meet a new love who’ll be that someone special in your life.
Marianna is a lifestyle blogger writing for a hairstyle blog Newaylook. She is passionate about living it up with reading, interior design and active lifestyle, and being outdoors as much as possible.
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
Sylvia Smith loves to share insights on how couples can revitalize their love lives in and out of the bedroom. As a writer at Marriage.com, she is a big believer in living consciously and encourages couples to adopt this principle in their lives too. Sylvia believes that every couple can transform their relationship into a happier, healthier one by taking purposeful and wholehearted action.