The chances are that you and your wife made vows to love each other through thick and thin and now even though you still live together, the love you once felt has died down.
You are no longer attracted to your wife, and she has been picking up arguments for the past two years. If this is the case and the scenario mentioned below sounds similar to you then keep on reading and find the easiest and simplest way to let your wife know that you want a divorce.
Are you ready for a divorce?
If you have been unhappy in your marriage for a long time now and are thinking of getting a divorce. If you keep on imagining what your life will be like once you are single; You have slowly created distance between you and your spouse and have even changed rooms; then it is time that you approach your wife and let her know about your decision.
Even though your relationship with one another is civil but if the spark that you once had and the warmth that you felt for one another is no longer there, then it is time that you end this relationship once and for all.
Avoid blindsiding your wife.
To let your wife know that you want a divorce without creating a shouting and a yelling competition it is crucial that you be very careful while breaking this news. To make your work easy, mentioned below are the steps you must take to introduce your wife to your decision.
How to tell your wife you want a divorce?
When letting your wife know that you want a divorce there are several things that you need to consider beforehand. First, how surprised will your wife be when she hears the news? In most cases, your wife will also be unhappy with this marriage and will be wishing the same thing as you.
She, however, may not be aware of the fact that you want a divorce. Keep in mind the more shocked and surprised she is by your decision, the harder it will be for her to accept this decision. And the less willing she is to accept your decision the more she will try to change your mind about it.
Be calm and polite yet direct
When you are ready to say the words “I want a divorce” out loud be as compassionate and direct as you can be. Do not speak in between the lines and try saying:
“Jill, I have very devastating news to share with you. I want you to know that this was a very hard decision to make and it will be hard for you to hear it too. I lately feel like we are stuck and our marriage is not going anywhere, and I need a divorce. I have been stressed on this for a very long time now, and I think you are aware of the problems around us. I have reached my limit of pain now, and I just cannot go any longer.
I know this is a very painful process for us both, but I believe that we can overcome this issue with decency.”
When breaking the news to your wife keep in mind that you once loved this person and you should not be harsh. If you have children and plan on co-parenting, then make sure that this transition with your wife is as respectful and loving as it can be.
If your wife is very feisty and you think she might break plates and throw knives around the house then make sure that you be safe.
Break the news in front of a neutral party such as a therapist or a mutual friend. You can also break this news in a public place where your wife will be forced to contain her anger.
Do not defend
Once you break the news be prepared to hear a lengthy lecture and if she is not expecting the divorce she may try to talk you out of it. She may also throw accusations your way and be critical.
You may be tempted to strike back and tell her how bad a wife she has been, but avoid doing this. If you do this, you may create a messy situation and will not be able to get out of it.
Divorce is no joke, and you must remember this especially if you have kids at home. Never use the word “divorce” as a threat or say it in the middle of a very heated argument; this is manipulative and cruel.
If you have done everything to bring your marriage back on track and you have no option except divorce then remain sensitive and sensible when breaking the news. This will help your wife and you in adjusting to the situation and eventually move on.