Though we might shy away from talking about it, the number of divorces is increasing at a high rate. The reasons for divorce vary from rampant incidences of couples cheating to couples rushing into marriage before getting to know each other well.
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They later realize that they are not compatible and end up breaking up. Others fight over wealth and other family issues. The reasons for divorce are uncountable.
The divorce process is long and exhausting. Here are some of the tips that may help you understand the process and finally move on.
1. It is not easy
Divorce comes with emotional trauma for both of you. This is a phase that no one was ever prepared for.
Get support from a professional to avoid getting depressed. Feel free to confide in them and tell them exactly how you feel aboutthe divorce process.
Allow your family and friends to be with you during this time. Believe it or not, there are many people who actually care.
Ensuring that you let out your feelings helps improve your mental and psychological health.
2. How to tell the kids
Children are very sensitive and unfortunately, they are caught in between in a divorce. How do I tell the kids? This is the most common question asked by parents who are considering a divorce.
Some of the parents opt to keep it a secret until the process is over. However, this is not the best option because, even when they do not know what is happening, they can sense that something is not right.
The best thing is to be honest with them. Try not to be emotional about it. Make them understand that mommy and daddy will no longer be living together.
Do not bad mouth the other parent.
The children need to grow up respecting their daddy even when you are not living together. If you notice some behavior change, take them to a psychologist so that they can get help.
3. Do not keep it a secret
When you are afraid of people knowing about your divorce, it affects you more. Be open about it and tell whoever asks you that yes, you are getting a divorce. Do not let their evil talk disrupt you.
Concentrate on trying to move on and keeping your children safe. When people brand you as a single parent or a failure, just let it pass, they will stop with time.
4. Learn the skills of financial management
Remember that you will be required to handle all your bills alone. Your husband might be sending some child support, but it’s not going to be enough.
If you’ve been a stay at home mom, try getting a job. You can even try out freelancing so that you can earn some more.
Now you need to save more than ever because most divorces are usually followed by a heated custody battle for the children. You need tobe financially prepared, just in case
Also watch: 7 Most Common Reasons for Divorce
5. Look at the brighter side
This is a chance for you to improve on your look. Most women become less keen on their looks after getting married. The reason is, they have the added responsibility of taking care of their families.
Now that you are divorced, do not dwell on it. It’s time for you to improve on your looks.
When you look good, you are more confident and you feel better. Take time to exercise and eat healthy; this will improve your overall wellbeing.
6. Take lessons from your divorce
They say every experience should be a lesson even when pain is the teacher. The reason for your divorce should teach you a thing or two. Do not condemn yourself as being the cause of the breakup.
Remember that there are better things to come. If the reason for divorce was cheating or an abusive marriage, you have now learned the signs that come before it gets worse.
You learn that you don’t always get what you want. You might not get your dream job or the promotion that you have been eying, but that’s ok.
7. Learn to appreciate the present
After the divorce, you will look back at the plans you made for the future, and the life you had before things started heading south. You will understand that all that is vanity.
Appreciate the moments that you have now because tomorrow is unpredictable.
Enjoy every moment of your life, take care of yourself and do not be afraid to love again.
A research carried out on married couples revealed30% of the women had been divorced at some point of time. Being a divorcee does not mean you can’t love again, remember, not everyone is like your ex.
Even if you are still bitter about the divorce, do not try to hurt your ex because you will be hurting yourself in the process.
8. You understand that you are stronger
When you are left all alone with no one to run to every time you have a problem, you will realize that you are stronger than you ever thought.
You will be able to manage your time and take care of your children, go to work and even take a vacation once in a while. You will be amazed to see that you will not struggle much.
Divorce is a traumatizing experience that should only be considered as the last resort. It affects the spouses and the children and should be handled with care. If you cannot avoid the divorce, then take some lessons with you. Look at life in a positive manner and stay strong.
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.