Divorcing a narcissist is a nightmare indeed.
According to DSM – Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, a narcissist is someone who’s very sensitive to injury from criticism or defeat. They are often found to be self-centered and arrogant.
Narcissists blame others of not being good to them, and they’re quite egotistic.
Divorcing a narcissist is quite difficult. They ask for a constant flow of love and support from their spouses, but give nothing in return. A normal divorce usually takes from 2 to 3 years to settle, but a divorce involving a narcissistic spouse may take a lot longer than that.
Their narcissism makes them care about no one, not even their own children. Generally, a narcissist divorce has proved to be very painful for couples with children.
So, how do you win a narcissist divorce? Following are the ways that would be helpful in winning the ugly battle.
1. Hire an experienced attorney
A narcissist divorce lawsuit needs an adequately experienced attorney.
The lawyer should have the know-how of narcissism and must come up with the strategies to deal with the matter appropriately.
Narcissists love to fight, so an aggressive lawyer shouldn’t be hired as she/he may prove to add fire to the fuel.
2. Minimize contact with the narcissistic spouse
There should be very less face-to-face contact. While communicating with the narcissist spouse, it is better to do it via the lawyer only.
Communication through emails and text messages is the best option as it would have the entire record of conversation and would prove to be handy in future proceedings.
Emotions from communication should be removed to avoid any underlying traps.
A narcissist spouse would try to use emotional attacks to keep everything in his/her control, so being sentimental should be avoided as much as possible. This is the reason why contact should be kept to the minimum. And, this is how you win a narcissist divorce.
If face-to-face communication has to be done with a narcissist spouse, never forget to document it as they may label you a liar if there’s no record. To avoid being called a liar in court, it is better to have a record of each and every conversation no matter what the medium was.
After documentation of the conversation, it’s better to put them in order so that they’re easy to find when needed. Keep the documentation in a safe place as losing them might cause problems in the future.
4. Don’t get painted black
Narcissists are very clever and can cross all possible limits to defend themselves.
Hurting others is quite easy for them. They can lie with ease and would take no time in painting others as monsters. To avoid that, it is better to have everything discussed with the lawyer and children.
5. Get a strong support
While going through a difficult time, it is always good to have emotional support. Any close friend or family member may prove to be a shoulder to cry on.
It has to be made sure that while entering the court, your mind is relaxed and you’re staying cool.
6. Get a therapist
Peace of mind is very important.
Lengthy litigation such as that involved in a narcissist divorce may leave marks of stress and pain.
A therapist may help you and your children a lot in moving out of the dire situation. A therapist may help in predicting the behavioral pattern of the narcissistic spouse which can be helpful in making strategies for the upcoming hearings.
A therapist may also guide on how to tackle emotional attacks made by the narcissist spouse. Children have to go through a lot, so a professional therapist may bring them out of the stressful situation.
Divorcing a narcissist is possible
Divorcing a narcissist is possible if everything is done according to plans and strategies. It requires a lot of patience. Patience, in fact, is the key to success.
This is how you win a narcissist divorce.