15 Helpful Divorce Tips for Men

No matter who was at fault, divorce is devastating on all accounts. The person of your dreams is gone, and maybe not even the same person you thought you married.

There are many divorce stages for a man, but for now, you are disappointed, unhappy, and have lost your zest for life. So how to prepare for a divorce as a man? 

You need some healthy divorce tips and strategies and some healthy divorce tricks for men.

Being a man going through a divorce seems to come with a label that you have a big failure in your life. It’s normal to feel that way, but try not to make it your focus. You are newly single, and that means you can shift your focus to yourself.

So, if you are preparing for divorce as a man, try to take care of yourself during this transition. Here are some essential divorce tips for men that will make things easier.

What should a man do before divorce?

Before filing for divorce, a man should spend some time thinking about the decision calmly and reasonably. 

Divorce is often difficult for most people, and it has financial, personal, emotional and social ramifications for the couple. 

A hasty decision can lead to regret, guilt or confusion later. This is one of the important divorce tips for husbands and wives to avoid deciding without fully considering the consequences. 

If you prepare yourself in advance, you will be better informed and confident about choosing to separate. Additionally, it will allow you to protect yourself from all the changes that will occur once you are divorced.

Related Reading: Important Details About Separation Before Divorce You Must Know

Divorce checklist: 15 divorce tips for men

Divorce can be emotionally draining but also affect other aspects of your life. It helps to be prepared for these changes and move forward healthily.

Here are some divorce tips for men that can make this trying time a little easier for you:

1. Starting from scratch

The biggest challenge in moving forward after a divorce is breaking through the patterns you followed when you were married. But letting go of these patterns won’t be all that simple.

You often would find yourself reminiscing about old habits and moments. This might make you sad, but you need to cherish the freedom and space you now have.

Now you have the opportunity to build your resilience and become more stable and reliable.

2. Analyze your finances

Now that you are no longer married, your finances may take a hit. Take a budgeting class or talk to a financial planner. Do what you need to do to get your finances in order.

Divorce tips include taking stock of your debts, figuring out where you’re at with retirement savings, and all of your other obligations. This is a good way to learn how should a man protect himself in a divorce. 

Dealing with divorce as a man or woman can be scary at times, but better to face reality now so you can work towards a more stable future.

You will also have to pay lawyer fees, court taxes, potentially a therapist or a financial specialist, and so on. Your expenses may rise.

On the other hand, your ex-spouse will get at least one portion of your belongings. Maybe you’ll have to pay alimony.

For that reason, sit and think your finances through. If you are not good with numbers, ask a friend or hire a specialist to help you.

You will have to cut your expenses and make financial plans for the future. Make sure to make copies of your financial documents and check your credit record; all of these will be useful in the long run.

Related Reading: 55 Financial Questions You Need to Ask Your Partner

3. Take care of basic grooming

Many men, when first divorced, fall into the “I don’t care anymore” trap. They figure, who am I getting dressed up for? They tend to get a little lazy in the basic grooming department.

So the first and the best divorce advice for men would be to not let this happen to them. Get your haircut every 6-8 weeks. Shower every day, even if you don’t feel like it.

Strong feelings tend to leave marks on your body. Oversleeping or lack of sleep, stomach pains, panic attacks, and headaches are more common than you think.

Your mind might be in chaos, but don’t let that affect your body. Your emotional pain is enough – you don’t have to go through the physical one. Learn how to stay healthy during a divorce.

Start with some self-care by eating, sleeping, and drinking water regularly. Do not double the amount of exercise. Do not increase your working hours. Do not drink or use other substances to cover up emotions.

It may be hard to accept, but you are a vulnerable human being, act like one. Lick your wounds and don’t push yourself too hard.

Check out this video by Hank Green if you are looking for a self-care action plan:

4. Figure out the household stuff

For men coping with divorce whose partners took care of laundry and cooking, it’s time for them to figure out how and when they will do these things. If you simply can’t fathom doing them yourself and can afford to do so, hire out.

Having clean clothes and healthy meals will be well worth the effort. Otherwise, learn to do them yourself. 

5. Don’t give in to your demons

When you are depressed, what do you do? Drink? Overeat? Get lazy? Never go out? Getting over a divorce for a man requires them not to give in to their demons and build the courage to face them.

Instead of drinking, go out golfing or shooting pool with a friend.

You can certainly hit up restaurants to socialize, but just be careful to eat healthy portions. Besides work, go out and have fun at least once a week.

Maybe you and your buddies could play some basketball, go to a movie, or do something else you like to do. There are many divorce strategies for men to get you out of the house.

6. It is okay to grieve

How many times have you heard that ‘Men don’t cry?’

Well, in real life, they do.

Be it a man or a woman, everyone deserves to grieve the loss of something or someone special in their lives.

Over time the separation from your spouse would bring a surge of different emotions, and even though women tend to be more vocal about their feelings and emotions, there is no law against men doing it too.

So, if you are looking for divorce tips, embrace your feelings as that would help you let go of your emotional baggage.

7. Connect with others

When women divorce, they tend to reach out and talk about it—men, not so much. Unfortunately, keeping negative thoughts and feelings inside isn’t a good divorce strategy for men.

What you need is to connect with other human beings. Remember in divorce that you don’t have to spend much time talking about the divorce itself—though it will be beneficial to let those feelings out.

Connect. It’ll make you happier because you know others are rooting for you. This is essential divorce advice for men with children.

8. Be a team with your lawyer

Don’t settle with the first lawyer from your phone book. Look for the right one. If you are looking for divorce tips, the least you can do is find a divorce attorney.

Then, make sure that both of you are on the same page. Set specific goals and stick to them, don’t let your lawyer draw you back from the bigger picture.

Remember, the attorney is here to help you deal with the law. But all of the other things are your responsibility.

9. Be nice to your ex

Your ex may have broken your heart, but they don’t have the right to ruin your life. You are both adults, so act like it. 

The divorce checklist for men might also include letting their ex live their life in peace. Even if the ex tries to pick a fight with you, calmly decline.

Do the duties the court has appointed you, and do them as agreeable as possible. You will be running into them in the future, so don’t make things tense.

Related Reading: The Danger Behind Talking to an Ex While in a Relationship

10. Prepare for co-parenting

For men with children, ensure that your kids do not feel that you are never around or do not care about them. Even if your kids are with your ex, you must figure out a way to stay connected with them.

Hopefully, now that you have extra time on your hands, you can start spending more time building a healthy and strong relationship with your children.

Here are a few tips for ensuring that your child doesn’t suffer the consequences of your divorce and you can succeed at co-parenting:

• Communicate effectively and efficiently with your ex.
• Keep a meticulous record of every documentation and conversation you have with your ex regarding your children.
• Be consistent with your schedule. Kids need consistency in their lives to thrive.
• Be patient with your child and your ex and avoid public confrontations.
• Create a plan for parenting and stick to it.

11. Think twice before you do something reckless

People can act out when they are hurt. It may include their behavior related to your ex-spouse.

Give your best to stay rational.

Don’t call your ex when it is not necessary or divorce/kids-related. Don’t block them on social networks, trash them in front of your loved ones and especially not in front of your children.

You likely loved your ex once. You are above petty behavior and will regret doing that later. Minimize contact between you two, and don’t let emotions cloud your judgment.

These divorce tips for men are essential as your behavior can very well decide the fate of your divorce. If you start acting out, it can be used against you in the court, allowing your ex to get what they want from you.

12. Talk to a professional

Divorce help for men can come in the form of a counselor.

You’re not giving up if you go to therapy. Therapy can help you sort out your thoughts and emotions in a healthy, productive way.

It’s best to get in to see someone before the divorce causes you such distress that it affects your work performance and spills into other areas of your life. 

13. From resentment to forgiveness

Divorces can get very ugly; you say things that you never thought you would, there are fights, kids, and who gets to keep what. 

By the time you end this process, you are bound to be full of resentment towards a person you once loved and adored.

Forgiving your ex for their actions after divorce is not about being the bigger person. It is about moving on and letting go of the baggage full of hatred, bitterness, and anger.

Forgiving your partner would help you come to terms with reality, and you can finally put the past behind you.

14. Take a balanced approach to dating

Another important divorce survival tip for men is to not put off meeting potential partners forever. 

Also, you don’t want to rush and go out with the first person you see. Take a more balanced approach.

Give yourself time to get over the initial shock and life change, and then tread carefully. But do get out there. 

Focus on forming friendships and then see what develops. You’re in no rush; you’re here.

15. Laugh and enjoy your passions

It’s so easy to get down during this significant life change. 

Research shows that laughter significantly enhances one’s mental health. It can infuse positivity and elevate stress. 

So go to comedy shows, watch funny movies or TV shows, hang out with curious people, and just look for the fun in life. You’ll feel so much better.

What do you want out of life? What have you always wanted to do but never done? 

Maybe now is a good time to travel somewhere exotic, start a business, or take a class. ,

Post-divorce is your time to develop your new sense of identity. Follow your passions, and you’ll feel better about yourself.

Final thoughts

When thinking about divorce tricks for men, remember that you must work towards becoming more aware. Not every divorce has to end up in court; many things can be done before you get to that point. 

Make sure you know what you are dealing with; that way, you will maximize your chances of success.

Men are just as vulnerable and gentle as women; they just demonstrate their pain in different ways. Don’t worry; if you cry, smash something, or feel scared or confused, it doesn’t mean you are weak.

You are stronger for letting yourself feel instead of hiding behind a mask. After some time, you will get over it; for now, you just have to keep working on yourself.