Divorce can be physically and emotionally devastating for some women. While others seem to emerge from the darkness of divorce strong and empowered. The differences between these two outcomes are huge, but clearly, there is only one outcome out of the two that is desirable. The question is, what is it that these empowered women do to help themselves? And what causes the drastic difference in outcomes?
We’ve discovered three empowering tips for divorce planning for women so all women can emerge from their divorce confident and strong – setting them up nicely for the next phase of their life.
Tip 1: It’s all in the mindset
Divorce is painful for everyone, even the strong, empowered divorcees that we’ve already mentioned, even for the men involved and also for the spouse who wanted the divorce in the first place.
It’s a challenging time, divorce is about change and change is intimidating, but you have to remember that you have the power to direct that change so that you can navigate a path to peace and personal fulfillment. All it takes to achieve this is to manage your mindset!
So with that in mind, one of the first things that you can do to make sure that you rise from the flames of your marriage strong and powerful is to decide whether you are going to let the divorce process take over you or whether you choose to work hard to be practical, proactive and positive as you embrace this brave journey.
One of the best tips for divorce planning for women is to remember that even if you don’t feel in control of your life right now, there are many aspects of your divorce which you can take control over and one of those is your mindset.
Learning to accept and process the loss you have experienced, and making positive steps toward rebuilding a new and healthy life for yourself is paramount. Regular mindset checks to maintain a positive outlook, while allowing yourself time to grieve your loss is essential. Especially if you know that this will all pass and one day you will be ok again.
Take time to notice times when you might feel anxious, overwhelmed or down, and spend time learning how to manage them so that they no longer own you. Then as you discover that you can manage them, you’ll feel more and more confident each day knowing that if you can handle yourself, you can handle anything.
If you are struggling to stay positive, take the opportunity to have an expert help you through a series of therapy sessions. And make sure that you help your family and friends to help you by letting them know how they can help you. Letting people know what you need will make sure that you receive appropriate support (providing your needs are realistic, reasonable and practical). So why not make some of these mental adjustments today so that you can own your new life.
Tip 2: Become your own business manager
If you plan to leave your divorce empowered then this is one tip from the divorce planning for women school of thought that you need to know and act upon.
There are way too many women, (including high earners) who don’t really know what is going on in their marital and family finances. Even if it’s you who pays all of the bills, is it you who makes all of the financial plans? If there is any aspect of financial management of your marital affairs that you haven’t had dealings in, it’s now time to get involved and learn how to handle them. And the quicker you learn, the better your future is going to be.
There are times during divorce where you will feel out of control, and you may feel like the process is dragging, if you can embrace this divorce planning for women tip fast, then you’ll instantly feel in control, and you will have something to distract you from the pain of the process. You’ll be taking practical action that will ensure that every day you will be getting better, and stronger.
Even if you don’t like dealing with money you need to learn. Start by reviewing ‘divorce planning for women tip 1’, adjust your mindset and learn to love it. You’ll be glad you did in the long term.
Facing divorce without understanding or knowing about your finances will be intimidating. How can you take charge of your financial life, if you don’t know how much money you have? You need to take stock, learn your financial position (even if its ugly) and then take steps to handle it.
If you need financial advice, or support to manage any debts there are always plenty of resources around that can help you navigate any murky waters.
You need to know that regardless of the state of your finances, there is still something you can do to fix the situation and all you need to do is to pull up your bootstraps and learn what is happening and how to manage it – just like a business manager would.
To get started, plan to take small steps. Start by becoming a sleuth and review your financial paper trail. Look at bank records, tax returns, credit card statements, if you can’t access them, request a copy. Take out a credit score check in your name.
Tip 3: Shift your focus from your husband to yourself
As women, we are naturally nurturing and concerned about the welfare of those important people in our life. If you have been married for some time, this includes your husband.
As you move through the divorce process, it’s time to shift your focus from your husband to you. If you are still combing through his phone records or scanning his social media to find blame or infidelity on his behalf, you are still emotionally involved, and all of the energy you spend on this is a waste.
If you tend towards thinking about your husband’s feelings, and addressing his emotional needs even though he’s detached from you emotionally and could be using you, or if he’s using emotional manipulation to try to get you back consciously or unconsciously you won’t be helping yourself or your Husband by tending to his needs.
You need to cut the ties and give you and your Husband space to find new sources of emotional support pronto.
Want to have a happier, healthier marriage?
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.