Divorce is hard for both men and women. No one can tell who suffers more. However, psychology says that women are more likely to become depressed than men and that they need more social support. This is why we are here to be the part of that support and offer valuable divorce advice for women.
It is okay to be emotional
You may think that the worst is behind you once the divorce process starts, but don’t let the temporary relief fool you. My intention is not to discourage you, just to remind you to be kind to yourself and take care of your mental health.
Divorce is a slow and painful process. No matter what happened between you and your partner you have a right to be sad, angry, hurt, disappointed, scared, confused or even happy. But remember, it will be an emotional roller coaster.
If you have children, many people will tell you that you have to keep emotions to yourself and be strong for the kids. Don’t listen to them, it is great to be strong, but showing emotions is the way to let your children know it is okay to feel, even if feelings are tearing you inside, the world will not fall apart. Just don’t neglect your kids on account of your emotions and everything will be alright.
Cut your expenses
The thing is you don’t have as much money as you had while you were married. Another thing is, paying a divorce attorney, court taxes and potentially a therapist will cost you a lot. You might be confused and not ready to deal with it, but you should.
Dealing with the annoying and complicated task like finances is a good way to stop thinking about your emotional pain for a moment. Also, if you give your best to figure out your expenses as soon as possible, it is much less likely that you will end up broke. Sit, calculate, assess, make plans. If you are not great with numbers, consult a financial specialist. This will keep food on your table.
When you get divorced, you lose a lot of things. Lover, friend, life partner, and support. There is no way to compensate for all of this stuff at once, but support is the most important one at this moment.
Contact your friends, family, and relatives. Talk to people, go to a mental health professional, attend support groups, talk to your children, do whatever you need. Some people will help you emotionally; some will offer money or lend a hand. However, every kind of support is welcome.
When you enter the divorce process, you should be aware that it will take some time before you finally sign the papers. You should inform yourself on different types of divorce, on all of the potential divorce attorneys in your town, your rights and obligations, how to take care of your children and how not to end up giving all of your belongings to your ex-spouse.
Internet, bookstores, libraries, friends – all of these sources can offer you valuable information. People are usually scared of the unknown.
Additionally, if your husband was the one who dealt with financial and law related tasks in your house, this process can be even more intimidating. But, if you learn all you can about the situation you are in, your comfort level will rise as well as your odds of success.
Don’t be passive, fight for yourself through learning.
Take care of your children
If you have kids, you have to pay attention to them. No matter their age, the divorce will hurt them. They might not even be able to express themselves, but their behavior will tell you a lot about their emotional state.
If you have small children, pay attention to aggressive outbursts, how they play, do they prefer to be alone more than usual, do they pee more often than they should, do they have unusual pains, do you notice separation anxiety? If your children go to school, see if their grades have changed, are they running from home to school, do they spend much more time with their friends than usual? Any significant behavior change can be informational.
Talk to your children. They have the right to know about things that happened. Explain that you and your husband both still love them and that they are not the reason you got divorced. Don’t let them feel guilty, but don’t try to erase their sadness. They have every right to be emotional, just as you do.
Even if everything looks miserable, dark and endless at this point, you will get through it. You are strong enough, good enough, smart enough and resilient enough to overcome anything that happens to you.
Remember, you are not alone in this, there are still many people who love you.