Every divorce is different, but if you listen to experts that have had to deal with a lot of divorces there are a few common pieces of divorce advice that always come up. Here are a few to consider.
Protect your rights, but try to remain amicable
Getting married is a legal process where two people are joined together in the eyes of the law. People tend to not think about the legal aspect of it much because it is usually uncomplicated and getting married tends to supposed to a joyous occasion. When a couple gets divorced, the legal aspect of marriage becomes more obvious. Private conversations you had with your spouse and intimate choices you made are subject to scrutiny from lawyers, accountants, and judges. It can be easy to get defensive when your lawyer gives you some hard divorce advice, and you do want to defend your rights, but you should avoid lashing out in anger. That will only harm your cause. Some things you may want to leave up to the lawyer to make it easier, as he or she will be less emotional about your case.
Collect your financial information quickly
You are generally going to be entitled to a share of everything your spouse earned during your time together. The theory is that he or she could not have earned as much without your support. To get a share you must understand what is out there, though. Many couples have an extra bank account that is private from their spouse, and some spouses will actually try to conceal assets from their spouse. You should do your best to collect all the information you can quickly. A lawyer will have a chance to pursue this type of information through the court process, but that is much more costly. You should also make sure you have collected information on any assets you have so you are prepared to disclose information as required.
Figure out what you want in a custody arrangement
It can be easy to be so busy taking divorce advice that you forget to assert what you want. That is very important when dealing with children. You are responsible for thinking about what is best for your child. This responsibility may change as your child gets older and can develop their own wishes to some degree. But you should pursue your preferred custody arrangement and be prepared to compromise with what your ex-spouse wants. If you simply “go with the flow” you will probably end up with whatever your spouse prefers.
Divorce may not give you justice
The court system is simply trying to sever your marriage while dividing your assets and providing for the care of your children. This is especially true in today’s no-fault divorces, where couples are simply allowed to break up and go their separate ways. A judge is usually not going to punish your spouse for being unfaithful or bad with money, so you should not try to get that kind of closure from a court.
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