Don’t Quit

Don’t Quit

“A Friendly Game of Tennis with You & Your Partner”

Like the tennis game start with love (0) in your relationship

In a game of tennis, balls are served and played out in a rhythmic way mid-range a net.  The net is not too high or low.  You begin by rising at the backcourt to meet (serve) your goal (ball).  Keep your eyes on your goal (ball), and follow through (across court) to your partner.  This rhythmic momentum between you and your partner is unique, and continuous.  When the rhythm changes, you may be exhausted and want to quit.

When do you want to quit in your once loving relationships?

I imagine the desire to quit when you feel exhausted, let down, discouraged, found out, betrayed, distrust, alone, burdened, depressed, overwhelmed, unattracted, insecure, inadequate, and defeated.  

But, don’t quit.  Remember willpower. There is a minimum of 12 games in a match (symbolic of twelve attempts minimum in your matched relationship). You may be exhausted; however, you have not exhausted all of your efforts.  In tennis remember the rhythm of love (0), and follow through until the end (ad point).

Who is keeping score?

What is taking place in the mind of the partners?  Like a game of tennis start with love (0), meaning the same playing field.  Don’t quit.  

You are equally contributing to the relationship (at deuce).  Remember deuce is symbolic for being tied, or an equal score.  Keep your eye on the prize (ball) and follow through to connect in your loving relationship (meeting the ball with the racquet). Let all moves go over the net.  You do not need to go several rounds.  When things are in bounds (at the baseline) like that of tennis, you are given another opportunity to succeed.  Getting to the end of conflict is okay (point 4 the end).  There is no winning by 1 (ad).  Remember you are on the same team.  There is no one upping, or competition (advantage).  You are playing the same sport on the same team.  You are just individually contributing to love (0) until the end (ad).  

All differences must come to an end (ad).  When times are hard, don’t quit.  If two are willing to do the work, there will be continued (continuous play) work to do.  You will keep growing, building, and flourishing in your loving relationship.  

  • Don’t quit, with the misconception your partner has given up.  Keep the rhythmic flow of conversation going.
  • Don’t quit empathizing; while listening for understanding.
  • Don’t quit inserting yourself in the relationship.
  • Don’t quit appealing to your partner’s desires.  
  • Don’t quit defining expectations.  
  • Don’t quit on you.
  • Don’t quit on the relationship.  

Remember you can only change yourself.  You must trust that your partner will play individually for the unit.  Two individuals willing to do the work, refusing to quit is a win/win (deuce) situation.  Just remember when you have deuce (a tie) you cannot give up, you must follow through and win together.  Don’t quit.

Janelle is an experienced psychotherapist, she established Life Balance Counseling private practice in Aurora, Colorado August 2011. She works with a vast population. She specializes in anxiety, grief, loss, ADHD, and relationship conflict. She guides clients so they may achieve balance in their lives by accessing resources, fostering healthy relationships, managing stress, using healthy coping skills, sustaining self-worth, and value. She completed her master’s degree in Counseling from Regis University. She is a member of the American Counseling Association, Rho Upsilon Chi- Chi Sigma Iota, and the Colorado Black Chamber of Commerce.

More by Janelle Johnson

Boundaries in Blended Families

Love Me My Way

Clean Exit When Ending Your Relationship

“Loving Intentionally”