6 Actionable Tips for Relationships and Dating During COVID 19

By Dr Dan Amzallag, Registered Psychotherapist Registered Psychotherapist

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Updated: 14 May, 2020

 

 

 

 

 

Simply put, relationships and dating has its share of complications. 

This is complicated only by applications and today the “there is always something better” mentality. 

Play a pandemic and suddenly everything seems totally impossible. Relationships and dating no longer seem to be about sitting down to dinner at a restaurant, going to the cinema or coming for a drink. 

For those who are keen to pursue romantic interests, relationships and dating amid COVID-19, it would be helpful to know that the people are becoming creative and, as a result, becoming more personal.

What are some of the long distance date ideas?

According to a Toronto-based sexual and emotional literacy educator, there are restrictions or limitations – and today there are a lot of them, not only in terms of physical distance, but also the freedom and pressure to be in the world

To be busy, being socially connected – can inspire creativity, she says. And creativity is one of the best ways to be you, to be open and get to know someone, getting closer and building a relationship.

For many women I’ve spoken to across Canada, finding new ways to connect has led to many video conversations. There are some who love the idea of a virtual date, where they look for fun activities to do with their girlfriend or boyfriend. 

Some are always on the lookout for cute things to do in a relationship, or stay in touch. 

On both sides of the screen, there are still dinners, movie marathons and cocktails. 

The distance narrows when the dates become personal, which seems inevitable when they connect from their apartments or childhood homes and have less to worry about when it comes to dressing (waist down, at least) or picking up. 

Comfort and communication are on the menu now, at the first meeting.

Coronavirus has changed the scene for relationships and dating. Yes, for some it’s a little strange to be dating right now, but it’s also a great time to date and stay connected, safely. 

Talking on the phone, trying out fun skype date ideas or zoom dating, taking distant walks, showing your homes through a screen, talking about all the things you would like to do with each other one day. 

Love and passion under lockdown is possible

Despite the distance, passion, desire and sensuality are all increased.

It may seem like another obstacle to connecting at a time when it looks like the world is working against it, but Chan says these are circumstances you should take advantage of. 

This intensity is what many people desire after the initial fire has subsided, she says. Slowing down at the beginning of a relationship and postponing physical intimacy can be a way to really extract that delicious part – focusing on emotional, sexual and intellectual intimacy.

Here are some ways with which a distanced relationship can be maintained and couples can communicate better in a relationship.

1. Make time for yourself

Alone, every day, it is crucial for everyone.

Everyone needs time alone and it can’t be just when you use the bathroom. Take time to be alone, be it for deep breathing, texting a friend, taking a nap, reading or whatever. The important thing is to take the time to be with you, you and just you.

Try to coordinate the time with your partner, that way, when you are alone, they can also have theirs. 

In relationships and dating, the caveat is that you two need each other’s time to recharge and make sure you don’t pry each other’s eyes out.

2. Create a normal schedule

Many people are struggling to maintain a normal schedule right now, which is unfortunate, because most of us depend on schedules to have a sense of stability and even to combat things like anxiety and depression.

He suggests that couples sit together and create a difficult schedule to add some structure and make things look a little more normal. 

This is particularly useful for couples who are working at home together for the first time or who are much closer than normal. 

You can also use this time to define some basic rules about noise or interruptions when working.

3. Get fresh air

Yes, many of us are being forced to stay inside our homes, but that still doesn’t mean that we can’t go around the block or skate or bike. 

Wright says leaving the house will help your well-being and not blow up your partner when things are tense. 

We, as humans, need fresh air. 

Remember the six-foot rule to stay away from the germless respiratory droplets we are trying to avoid.

Going out is great for your mental health. Studies show that nature walks can reduce the symptoms of anxiety and depression – so if you live near a park or nature trail, enjoy it!

4. Stay in touch with the outside world

Unfortunately, during this period, it is not possible (well, possible, but very, very poorly advised – please do not do this unless it is absolutely necessary) to go out and see other friends and family. 

The main purpose of social detachment is to prevent the spread of germs, and this only works when we are all at home. 

But, thanks to technology, there are many other ways to communicate with others. Do not neglect relationships with friends and loved ones who are not your partner.

Ensuring that you have at least one to two connections a day with other people is helpful for your mental health and overall sanity and connection. 

Schedule video or phone chats with at least one friend or family member each day. It is important to maintain your other relationships, even when you are mainly with your partner.

5. Learn to communicate better

Communication is critical in relationships all the time, but when you’re quarantined, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, communication is even more important. 

Part of that is learning to fight well – empathizing and not getting involved in minimizing, cursing or shaming. 

When in relationships and dating, sometimes, we are all going to lose it for what seems like ‘no reason’.

But are we going to be rude and not be the best version of ourselves that we need to give ourselves and our partners? Some food for thought. 

Also watch this video on emotional reactivity in relationships, to gain insight into maintaining and continuing healthy relationships and dating.

6. Use time to your advantage

If you are one of those couples who live together, but hardly ever saw each other due to conflicting times or social lives, now is the time to reconnect. 

While it is not ideal to be “stuck” at home, you can still make the most of and do fun things with your partner.

Here are six ideas directly from a therapist:

• Play together
• Spend added time learning new things and facts about each other
• Make lists of things you wanted to do together; circle the ones you can do at home
• Have sex and relearn each other’s body
• Massage each other
• Redecorate, clean and make your home look amazing

Now is the time when the world – and your partner – need more love than ever. 

Everything is so uncertain and stressful now, but if you follow these tips on relationships and dating during the pandemic, and actively work to be the best partner you can be, you can be sure that, being quarantined, you will not destroy your relationship. 

Just think – it can really bring you closer!

Dr Dan Amzallag Registered Psychotherapist

We at DMV counseling and relationship coaching services provide a solution to many problems, which can include but not limited to: marriage/relationship, couple conflict, anger management triggering demise of relationship and so much more. We use cognitive behavioral therapy to assist the couple in figuring out ways to change their perception of what a healthy relationship should be. With proper communication, all issues can be solved by discussing the problem without pointing fingers or responsibility at anyone. Marriage is a journey taken by 2 people, so both are responsible and accountable to make it successful

(Dan is also listed in Best Marriage Therapists in Gaithersburg)