Now, there are underlying factors that come into play with regards to a couple who has not dealt with past resentments. The current displeasures could have been exacerbated by the pandemic, but not caused by it.
But my question for you today is, how are you doing if you’re in a relationship or you’re married during this time in your life? How are you keeping the love in difficult times alive in your relationship?
In the past three months, with my private practice, we have seen an abundance of couples struggling with love in difficult times severely, who are contacting me from all over the world to figure out whether they should stay or walk away?
It’s not an easy answer, and I’m not going to give one here in this article that you can walk away with to make your life easier.
In my soon-to-be-released book, “50 Flavors of Erotic Love, “ I talk about the need for couples to start being more open with their sensual desires and sexual desires after they’ve let go of their resentments, they have against their partner.
It doesn’t make sense for a couple who is struggling to sit down and talk about how to make love in different ways, how to turn each other on when you have deep unresolved resentments that are going to get in the way of any progress moving forward.
Analyse what has led to the decline in love in difficult times,
See if the relationship is worth saving
Find out logically, how did you get into this mess?
Here’s a testimony from one of my clients who was able to turn his relationship around with his wife by following my program which is also mentioned in the book.
Love like you are 21 again!
“We had lost all communication, my wife and I, we rarely talked. If we did, it was always about the kids. And, we haven’t even kissed in over a year.
And this is a marriage that’s only three years old!
Finally, the program you’re going to be reading in David’s book, we were blown away because it forced us to talk. Communicate! It forced us to talk about things we never wanted to talk about and also desires that we’ve never shared with each other.
It’s a slow process, but at least we have guidelines to bring us closer together, which I know this will do it. Thank God my wife couldn’t hold her desires back anymore to totally change our intimacy because if she hadn’t brought this up, I would’ve never gone in and worked with someone about trying to be more open, exposed, vulnerable and yes sexual.
From not even kissing to now 3 to 4 days a week, we cannot keep our hands off each other. It almost feels like we’re 21 again! This lifestyle, the one David writes about, is for more people, but they just don’t know it yet.“
Pandemic is not an excuse to divorce
Please don’t use the excuse of the pandemic as a reason to divorce and give up on love in difficult times. Separate… Unless, of course, there’s an extreme case of emotional and or physical abuse.
And, in that case, you should be divorcing whether the pandemic is here or not!
Look at your role in the dysfunction. Expose your role. Apologize.
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
David Essel, M.S. is the best selling author of 9 books, a counselor and master life coach and inspirational speaker whose work is endorsed by celebrities like Jenny McCarthy, Wayne Dyer, Kenny Loggins and Mark Victor Hansen. David accepts new clients monthly via Skype and phone sessions from anywhere.
(David Essel is also listed in Best Marriage Therapists in Fort Myers)