One minute we were balancing work, kids, our hobbies, the kid’s hobbies, fulfilling responsibilities in a relationship, and homework, and the next we find ourselves thrown into chaos!
For those of us who still have work, we’re juggling being at home with our kids, all our household chores (cooking, cleaning, laundry, food shopping) and homeschooling our kids to boot.
For those of us who are now unemployed, we are still trying to see how to make the next mortgage payment, pay rent or put food on the table in addition to everything else.
We are up to our eyeballs while grappling with multiple responsibilities in a relationship, work, and family.
If we hear, “I’m bored!!” from any of our kids one more time, there will certainly be no deaths from Corona. Homicide, on the other hand, jokes aside, many are starting to feel a bit envious of our single friends and those couples who still haven’t yet had kids.
Netflix, say what! I can hardly take out time to shower, let alone watch my favorite show.
In times like these, here are a few tips that can help you return to your Zen, fulfill responsibilities in a relationship and, most importantly, make time for love.
1. Maintain as much of your daily routine as you can
Shower (you don’t want to smell bad and upset your family).
Don’t forget to get dressed to look good. Stop wearing baggy saggy sweatpants the entire day. You won’t feel good wearing them every day.
Workout. Do you usually get up and go to the gym? Then get an online workout subscription or follow a YouTube work-out video can work well too. If that’s not your thing, then go for a quick walk or jog with no one around.
Try to eat a healthy breakfast every day.
By practicing a morning routine, uninterrupted, it helps you start your day feeling accomplished.
2. Take turns with your spouse or partner
When it comes to doing schoolwork and activities with the kids, you can achieve this in 2 block periods – One of you can work with the kids while the other takes care of household or office work and vice versa.
3. Make easy to make yet hearty meals
4. Let the kids pool in their efforts too!
Have each one of your kids take turns preparing meals if they are old enough.
5. Enjoy your meals together as a family
This is something most of us rarely have time to do anymore- this is at least one reason to be grateful to be quarantined due to Corona.
6. Build a chore chart
Involve the kids as much as you can. Distribute the chores evenly (if this doesn’t happen already) so they all feel equally involved.
7. Show gratitude to your partner
Don’t forget to do this for everything that they do. This will instill good feelings between both of you.
8. Have a brief family meeting after dinner
See what is working well and what improvements are required.
9. Plan for tomorrow
Chalk out meals, and activities to be done a day before so that you don’t feel overwhelmed and unproductive.
10. Be sure to have child-free couple time
Make sure to indulge in this in the evenings as that is essential for fulfilling emotional responsibility in relationships. Relax, digest your day, and do something fun.
We aren’t all as organized as Martha Stewart or Marie Kondo, however, what we can learn from these organization experts is that the more we try to utilize organizing tools and create a good healthy structure the more we can enjoy our time together and maybe not get on each other’s nerves so much.
While being at home with the ones you love can be a glorious thing, trying to handle responsibilities in a relationship, we all know too much of a good thing can be, well, too much!
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
Micki Lavin-Pell, MFT, has been working with individuals couples and familys for nearly 20 years. She works with individuals to help them learn about what they would like to offer a relationship and what they most need for themselves in order to find the most suitable partner. She also works with couples in a relationship heading to marriage to help deal with triggering issues that can get in the way of their love. Micki also provides marriage education training for engaged couples utilizing the Prepare Enrich Program. She uses Emotionally Focused Couples therapy as her therapeutic tool combined with Imago. She also provides Trauma therapy and has completed the Advanced level of training in Somatic Experience therapy. Micki is a member of the Israeli Association for Family Therapy, and ICEEFT as well as Get Help Israel.