Getting through long-distance relationships is no easy feat. One of the first things that I would encourage anyone in a long-distance relationship to do is to ground yourself in the present.
The answer to what makes long-distance relationships work could lie in mindfulness.
Practicing mindfulness does not have to be boring. One of the many benefits of leaning into mindfulness is it can help you appreciate the precious moments of today rather than begrudgingly wishing and hoping it away.
Another benefit of mindfulness is it promotes relaxation, which supports releasing tension while opening you up to positive energy.
Before we move further into developing intimacy, let’s pause and center ourselves.
Focus in and allow your breath to be your anchor. Take a deep breath in and slowly with your mouth release the breath (repeat a few times as applicable to your present state of awareness). Next, focus in and tune into your senses.
What are the three things that you can hear?
What are the three things that you can see that are blue?
Notice yourself centered and grounded, but feel free to allow yourself to explore mindfulness with your senses as deeply as you need to. Now, let’s shift back to relationship building and coping with long-distance relationship challenges.
Regardless of which stage a relationship is in, from newly dating, to newlyweds, to long-term partners, the major concern most of my couples share with me regarding marital dissatisfaction stems around communication.
So how do we bridge the gap in LDR relationships? Let’s talk about the elephant in the room – bottling your feelings.
Love yourself enough to not hide the true you to benefit someone else’s version of you. Speak your truth and allow your partner to hear your heart.
Then, the foundation for intimacy can begin.
As we lean into intimacy, the question lies in how to build and maintain closeness.
Can you hear your partner’s heart?
Can you feel their spirit?
Oftentimes, the barriers many couples face is not physical distance, but emotional distance, which I dare to say is intimacy. The closeness of not only feeling their next breath, but going deeper and feeling their heart. Yes, even miles apart.
A couple of creative ways to build intimacy in long distance relationships is just old-fashioned talking on the phone or even new-age video chatting.
Whatever method is your first choice, get out of your comfort zone – switch it up and do the opposite.
One, it creates spontaneity and that is the spark of life.
But two, it shows your partner that you care enough to hear their heart by stepping out of your comfort zone.
Below, you will find a few ideas to dig deeper while maintaining long-distance relationships during these difficult times.
Dig deeper to enhance your love and connection
Here are a few tools and some long-distance relationships advice to spark some creativity and build intimacy within your relationship. These will also help you in figuring out how to keep the long-distance relationships fun.
Send your partner a care package with some of their favorite things and include one surprise (be creative) to get their attention
Arrange for their favorite food to be delivered to their home
Share your favorite song or create a music playlist
Practice going down memory lane, to get to know your partner better (what are their likes and dislikes, who’s their closest confidant, what was their biggest mistake, what is their biggest dream). Be creative and explore your partner with a new level of pursuit and curiosity.
Lastly, don’t give up, this pandemic too shall pass.
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
I am a licensed professional counselor. My style of counseling is to provide the tools and support to promote strength for today and hope for tomorrow. You can expect my counseling style to be warm and empathetic, as well as goal-oriented and productive. I specialize in counseling adolescents and adults with anxiety, depression, life transitions, grief, and trauma related concerns. I consider it a honor to walk alongside you on your journey to healing!
I have specialized training in EMDR, a therapy that promotes healing for trauma, anxiety, depression as well many other concerns. I'm a certified Choice Theory/Reality Therapist and I've helped couples rebuild their relationship, supported women struggling with trauma, taught young adults the tools to manage anxiety & depression, helped many others work through grief concerns & life transitions.
I offer a free 15-minute phone consultation prior to our first session. Give us a call and let LifeSprings Counseling get you onto the path of healing and refreshing.