How to Build a Stronger Marriage During Quarantine

Today as we are experiencing unknown times, isolation, and added stressors, each can impact the relationship between couples.

Learning how to live a new normal during isolation can be difficult, but not impossible.

There is hope for strengthening bonds of love and build a strong marriage. To manage the strain placed on marriages and relationships, I want to highlight what I call Hearts Open Perseverance Endurance.

Hearts

When we think about heart, we can reflect on when our hearts became entwined and developed love inclusive of Agape, Philia, Eros, and Bond.

During times of isolation, we can experience being overwhelmed and become anxious.

But rather than succumb to our feelings that can hinder our relationship, this is a great time to reflect on what you have already overcome with patience and love in your relationship.

To build a strong marriage, focus on the love that brought you together and how you have triumphed over past obstacles.

• Agape/Unconditional Love

When we place our focus on the love developed, experienced, and that has evolved over time in the relationship, we are able to see H.O.P.E.

The time when our hearts connected and developed an unconditional love.

Unconditional love that does not concentrate on the things that annoy us but sees past the quirks and into the heart of the person we married.

Unconditional love that can forgive mishaps and forgettable moments like not putting the toilet seat down or putting the top on the toothpaste.

When the focus is placed at the heart, we are able to reflect and recall the memories of how far we have come and that unconditional love is not easily frustrated or broken because you spend a long time together.

But rather by being patient in a relationship and knowing that this too shall pass and that your love may face challenges during isolation, but together you have what it takes to get through the unknown and build a strong marriage.

• Philia/Friendship

This is a time where we can build upon our friendship in marriage—a time to laugh and play.

As friends, during this time of isolation, we can be creative, which can draw us closer together.

We can laugh at the mishaps, we can cry together when we become afraid, and we can be supported by one another when it becomes too much to bear.

Knowing that you have each other’s back and that you are stronger together. A friendship that demonstrates you can withstand the test of time and face challenges as they come.

The chance to hold one another, listen and draw closer.

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• Eros/Romantic

During isolation, we can be more romantic and improve intimacy in marriage.

Intimacy simply is into the other. What are some ways you can become more into your spouse? How can you build upon what exists in your love, or how can you improve?

This is an opportunity for you to draw closer, connect, and even rekindle the romance in your relationship. Think outside the box and be innovative in the love you share with your spouse.

• Bond

I believe that Colossians 3:12-14, NRSV from the Christian text sums up the importance of love as a bond that is inclusive of forgiveness, compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience to be worn like a garment which states:

“As God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience. Bear with one another and, if anyone has a complaint against another, forgive each other; just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you must forgive. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.”

Our bond should be strengthened during this time and not cause division.

A bond built on love, forgiveness, and understanding. A bond that shows evidence of compassion towards one another.

A bond that draws us closer and helps to build a strong marriage where love is the glue.

Open

When you think of open and honest communication, contemplate on your ability to not block or become guarded rather express your feelings in a manner were, they are able to be heard, received, and learned.

We communicate to learn, and this gives us the opportunity to become aware.

Additionally, when we are open, it positions couples to gain understanding and demonstrate compassion towards one another.

When we are open, it allows for trust to be gained and established. This leads to support.

When we can support one another, it continues to build a stronger relationship that is able to endure the unknown and foster a relationship that can survive challenges and with time build a strong marriage.

Perseverance

During this time of isolation, let us meet challenges with tenacity and persistence.  

Aiming towards common goals that move the relationship forward and bring one another joy.

When we have perseverance among challenging times, we can push through hard times and operate from a position of possibility. The possibility to create hope during moments of despair and uncertainty.

We can build character, inner strength, and deepen our understanding of self, our spouse, and the relationship.

Motivating ourselves to persevere and establish healthy ways to communicate and show love, patience, and understanding.

Moreover, to look towards a future that is built on determination. Determined to love, respect, honor, listen, cherish, and trust.

Endurance

William Barclay, a Scottish Theologian, stated, “Endurance is not just the ability to bear a hard thing, but to turn it into glory” (Pamphile, 2013).

We have the opportunity during this time of quarantine to turn this situation into memories of glory.

To create stories of adoration, beauty, courage, and determination that produce a bouget of narratives that speak for years to come.

The chance to develop patience and together learn how to be resilient during these tough and unknown times.

Conclusion

H.O.P.E., during times of uncertainty, provides opportunities to build a strong marriage, renew, and strengthen relationships. 

Provides a chance to show one’s heart, become open, preserver through barriers, and endure challenges, as each creates the potential for love to be planted, watered, cultivated, and blossom into a beautiful arrangement of narratives that speaks life into each other and the marriage for years to come.