5 Signs you Need to Change How you Communicate | Marriage.com 5 Signs you Need to Change How you Communicate | Marriage.com

5 Signs you Need to Change How you Communicate

Signs you Need to Change How you Communicate

Life is all about socializing, interacting and communicating. You cannot live life happily without engaging with people and mingling with them. Besides, a successful relationship requires effective communication skills.

Unfortunately, communicating effectively doesn’t come naturally to most people. Many people  struggle to get their viewpoints across because they don’t have the necessary skills or are unable to communicate well.

If you need improvement in communication, how do you know that?

Here is a look at the five not-so-subtle signs that outline the need for you to change the way you communicate with other people.

You get angry response

When you are getting your point across, do you feel that the person on the receiving end is firing back at you with an angry reaction? While an angry response may be because of what you said, it can also be about the way you conveyed your message. An anger response is an indication that you triggered something within the other person and that your message didn’t land well.

Anger can typically stem from irritation and frustration. If you are unable to get your point of view across and it always triggers the recipient to act angry, then there is a problem. So, if you are getting angry responses, it is time you changed the way you communicate.

You have not said what you wanted

How many times do we come back from a conversation regretting things that we could have said or should have said, but were inadvertently unable to say? When this happens too often, it highlights a problem in assertive communication.

The word communication means exchanging information or getting your ideas or viewpoints across from your mind to someone else’s. If you are unable to do so, there is no benefit of communicating with people. Similarly, if at the end of a conversation you still feel you were unable to say what you wanted, you need to reconsider your communication ability.

You blame and don’t take responsibility

When you talk to people, you are actually trying to achieve something positive out of it. Almost all conversations and communication serves to discuss issues, solve problems, remove disagreements, clarify things, make sure you help someone in need, etc. Communication is a two-way task. You must make a sincere effort to  listen to what others have to say, even if you don’t think their opinion matters.

The problem with this is that people will not want to communicate with a person who does not value their opinion. Often in conversations, one can start to blame people and not take responsibility on their own. This is not good communication method; communication  is about responsibly listening and understanding. If you don’t act that way and if you end up blaming people, you need to reevaluate the way you communicate.

You are not being direct and sincere

People can easily identify a sincere conversation from one that is fabricated and made up. For a conversation to flourish, it needs to hit the reason and purpose the conversation was initiated. You cannot beat about the bush, be chaotic and unclear and end up hoping that you are able to get your point across. Unless you are trying to lay in the groundwork for your communication, you should be direct and sincere when you converse.

You don’t feel at peace with yourself

One of the best ways to allay any fears, troubles, and problems that one may have with their life is to talk about them with friends and family or supportive individuals. Sharing your problems, talking about your uneasiness is one of the best ways to feel at peace with yourself. If you are unable to communicate comfortably with people, if you are unable to present your problem in an understandable light and if you are feeling guilty about something you wanted to say,  you will find it hard to get inner peace. The only way then is for you to adjust the way you communicate to find inner peace and success in relationships and life.

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Moshe Ratson
Psychotherapist, MBA, MS MFT, LMFT
Founder and Executive Director of spiral2grow, Moshe Ratson is an innovative
and successful coach and psychotherapist with a proven record of enhancing the
performances of leaders and organizations. His practice includes Individual, Couples
Therapy, Marriage Counseling and Family Therapy Career Coaching as well as Executive Coaching services. Other issues he has worked with includes anger management, marital issues, career and life transitions as well as addressing all types of relationship problems.

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