Planning for Wedding Planning Stress
Are you recently engaged and now engaging in some heavy duty stress? Well, it’s not surprising, as you’re entering a new stage in your relationship with different expecations, assumptions and realities. It also involves and affects people outside you and your soon-to-be spouse. And, not to mention that big upcoming event you need to plan. Why does such a happy moment in your life need to trigger so much anxiety? Well, it doesn’t have to. In order to prepare yourself for an easier, happier engagement, TwoOfUs offers some tips…
Newly Engaged? Get Ready for an Emotional Roller Coaster Ride …
You may have been imagining the perfect wedding day since you were young, but what you probably aren’t prepared for is the onslaught of emotions you are sure to experience along the way. For most brides (and even grooms) being engaged can lead to the surfacing of difficult feelings, issues and family and/or relationship problems. Why? Your relationship to your family, your friends, your fiancé and even your own identity are all changing. Here are some tips to help you prepare for some of these emotions.
Realize that bridal stress is temporary and usually connected to deeper issues and challenges within the family.
These can be triggered by something practical such as shopping for bridesmaid dresses, and can escalate all the way to the altar.
Planning a wedding is like working a second job. You have to manage not only vendors but family demands as well. Most out-of-control brides are very nice people who have gotten sucked into the insanity of planning a wedding as well as the expectations of everyone around them.
Tip: Incorporate stress management as part of your wedding planning process. Go for a walk, get a massage, take a yoga class or get a manicure … just do something that’s not wedding related.
Accept that everyone is going to have something to say about your wedding.
Brace yourself. You will get congratulations and well-wishes, but at the same time you will receive unsolicited advice and wedding horror stories that you’d rather not hear about. There will also be those around you who will use your wedding as an opportunity to fulfill some need of their own. Your mom will want the wedding she never had or your sister or best friend wishes it were she getting married.
Tip: Clarify the wedding you want and set boundaries for yourself that cannot be penetrated with words or attitudes. Focus on what this marriage will mean for you and your partner, not everyone else.
Your emotions will catch you off-guard.
Once you decide to get married you will begin to experience a number of unresolved emotions regarding your parents, family, former loves, and even concerns and doubts about the person you’ve chosen to marry. This is all very common and doesn’t mean you should call off the wedding. It simply means that you should do some work on yourself in addition to wedding preparations.
Tip: Trust that these emotions are natural and pay attention to any issues that might need further support. Stay on top of your emotions during this time. Don’t ignore them; address them head-on through counseling if needed.
Planning a wedding can be one crisis after another.
It’s easy to become weighed down in the details and lose track of why you are getting married. What began as an exciting and happy experience can turn into a battle to have the perfect wedding.
Tip: Remember why you’re getting married: You fell in love. A wedding is meant to be a celebration not an event that will strangle your spirit and turn you into a cranky bride or groom. Don’t sweat the small stuff and focus on your love for one another.
A happy, successful marriage does not hinge on your wedding day.
Unfortunately, our culture places a greater emphasis on the wedding than on preparing for a great marriage. Simply put, many individuals give the wedding day too much power.
Tip: Keep your eye on what’s truly important. The wedding day, while significant, is only one of many experiences and memories you will share together with your new partner. Spend time preparing for the marriage through educational opportunities and counseling.
It doesn’t matter if you are the bride or groom, you will find yourself experiencing a wide-variety of emotions leading up to your wedding day. However, if you deal with these emotions as a couple, you have an opportunity to make your relationship stronger. And regardless of whether your wedding day goes off without a hitch (or not), you will have built a strong foundation for a successful marriage.