Popping the Questions: An Out of Control Bride?

Thank you to Naivasha for asking the question via Twitter: What can a maid of honor do about an out of control bride?

Well, well, well…it’s always tough to deal with a bride that’s just off the chain when you’re the most important person in the bridal party. Being a maid of honor has a lot of built-in pressure! From the engagement party, bachelorette party, helping with wedding planning, etc… there are a host of events to think of, plan, and participate in. It’s the maid of honor’s job to make sure the bride enjoys each of these special events and that they run smoothly. Wow, just describing that makes me want to avoid being a maid of honor. Okay, congrats– you have been awarded the “honor” of helping the crazy bride. In all honesty, if you’re in this position you’re clearly a VIP in the bride’s eyes. You’re the person she goes to when she needs help, advice, and most importantly honesty. So here are my personal tips on controlling the out of control bride.

1. Do it over drinks- Plain and simple, you guys are going to need it. So set the tone, whether it’s at your place with a bottle of wine or out at happy hour, just do it over drinks.

2. Be honest- Don’t beat around the bush, but don’t be offensive. Explain that you want to do the very best and give her amazing experiences that will last a life time but it’s hard when she doesn’t seem satisfied or is putting up a fight. Be open about how you feel and mention how important your friendship is and hope that she understands where you’re coming from. When she sees you letting down her guard she will too.

3. Use an example- Refer to a time in the past where you had to be straight up and honest with your BFF and how it worked out and that now you’re just trying to do the same thing for everyone’s sake!

4. Don’t talk behind her back- When these types of situations arise it’s always easy to gossip behind the “crazy” bride’s back with others, but don’t do it. She will most likely find out and her feelings will be hurt. If you have something to say, say it in a civil way to the bride and not to others. When you confront her and tell her that you’re going straight up to her and haven’t spoken to anyone else about the issues, she’ll feel a lot better about herself and she’ll probably be more open. Besides, you’re her best buddy and she has to feel that you have her back during the ups and the downs.

5. Let her vent- She may be acting out because of the pressure and anxiousness she’s experiencing pre-wedding; if she begins to vent just let her get it off her chest. It will most likely be more about her in laws, wedding decisions, or concerns over her dress, moreso than her beef with you. So if she opens up then listen, guide, and advise as you usually would do as a BFF and prove to her that you’re really there for her for every step.

Okay, now if that doesn’t work….run!