How To: Help your Wedding Planner Help You

So, you’ve looked around at all the pieces of your wedding, and it’s true – you need help! But how do you go about finding the right person, and what’s the best way to help them help you create the wedding that you want?

The First Email. There are three things that your potential coordinator needs to know right off the bat – your wedding date, location, and number of guests. Oh, and throw your fiance’s name in there, somewhere, too. It always surprises me when a bride doesn’t tell me her groom’s name, and it happens more than you’d think. I’m just saying, it’s his wedding too! The response you get will confirm their availability, what time your wedding is going to start and when it needs to end, if you’re looking for a formal or casual atmosphere at your wedding, and if you’ve found all your vendors.

Your potential planner might also ask about your wedding budget. Just be upfront about it. It’s better than wasting time if it turns out that you can’t afford their services. Here’s the deal – If you’re looking for full-service coordination, your budget really needs to be at least $20,000. You want to have enough money left over for the actual wedding! It’s true that a coordinator can often save you the cost of their rates, but that’s not something you want to depend on at the beginning. If you’re just looking for Day-Of Coordination, which can usually be accommodated by a smaller budget. If you’re happy with what they’ve told you so far, schedule a time to meet with them in person.

The First Meeting. Meeting face to face is important for one reason: This is someone that you are going to be dealing with for at least a few weeks before your wedding, and for as long as a year. One more time: This person will be in your face, for months. You need to make sure you’re comfortable with them – chemistry is crucial, here, and it doesn’t always come across by email or phone. Seriously, don’t worry so much that they won’t like you, make sure you like them.

Bring three things to your first meeting:

1. Pictures from websites or magazines that you feel fit your wedding style. Explain how you want to incorporate them, and ask if they have any other suggestions on how to do so.

2. A list of three things you MUST have at your wedding, whether it’s something as simple as the color blue, or as complex as a photo booth that only shoots black and white pictures. If you’re drawing a blank on that, make a list of what you must NOT have at your wedding. Either is a great way for your planner to help you figure out what you’re looking for, and how they can give it to you.

3. A list of three things that you’re afraid won’t get taken care of, and that you really want help with. What made you realize that you needed a coordinator in the first place?

After The Hire. Keep these three things in mind, as you move forward with your new wedding planner:

1. Discuss your schedule. I’m here to help you plan your wedding while you live the rest of your life, but I need to know what the rest of your life looks like, first. Whether you have a full-service coordinator, or a Day-Of Coordinator, keep them informed about what days you can devote to appointments they’ll need to make for you. Also, I try and meet in person with my full-service brides at least once a month, and that’s a good rule to follow.

2. Be open to suggestions. Flexibility is important – remember, your coordinator is trying to give you what you want, or, depending on the circumstances, as close to what you want as possible! Treat them as a partner in that process, and if you don’t understand something, ask. But the final decision, whatever it is, is always yours.

3. Don’t be afraid to offer ideas or suggestions of your own. It could be a venue or vendor you’re heard about, it could be anything. This, too, is part of the process. You’re probably not going to stop looking at these things just because you’ve hired a wedding planner, and you shouldn’t. I don’t know everything! But my job, regardless, is to make it all easier for you, and that includes asking the vendors you’re interested in questions you didn’t know you needed to ask, so you can be certain that you’re getting exactly what you want. Plus, as a planner, I love finding out about new stuff, and new ways of solving old problems. It is one of the best parts of this gig, actually. So, don’t be shy about it.

If you’re working with a wedding planner, what other tips do you have to make it go smoothly? If not, do you have any questions about how this all works? Let me know in the comments!

See you at the end of the aisle,

Liz Coopersmith

Liz Coopersmith is the owner of Silver Charm Events, a wedding planning service in Los Angeles. You can find out more through her website, or follow her on Twitter.